emdot :::

Moving my blog

2011-11-13T14:36:00.001-08:00

moving my blog, originally uploaded by emdot.

It's time. You can catch me at emdot official. :)

Took me long enough. :)

Hi, we're cute

2011-05-26T21:26:00.001-07:00

msh0910-1 "Tummy", originally uploaded by Night Reader Bev.

The Quail of Baileyana

2011-05-25T18:39:00.001-07:00

Quail in the vineyard (part I), originally uploaded by emdot.

I heard an EEP!

What the heck. I stopped.

And then I heard it again.

EEP!

It was a quail. A quail in the vineyard. The cutest, boldest quail. Most quail run away when you approach. Not this guy. He stood his ground and said EEP.

It's been blooming for months

2011-05-25T14:45:00.001-07:00

The lunch tree, originally uploaded by emdot.

I love sitting near this tree on my lunch hour. I love walking up to it. I love sitting near it. I love seeing from afar.

Whoever chose to plant this tree should get a medal. Or at least a lunch and a handshake. Or a plaque with his or her name on it. "Smart cookie," it could say.

Such a pretty tree.

San Francisco was lovely

2011-05-23T11:00:00.001-07:00

North Beach Church, originally uploaded by emdot.

A Boy's Life

2011-04-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

This set made my day today.

Morning Flyby - Explored 12/19/2009

2011-04-26T19:57:00.001-07:00

Morning Flyby - Explored 12/19/2009, originally uploaded by Eric "Claptøn" Nelsøn.

I just love this image. As seen on Flickr.

In awe of the light show

2011-03-31T12:25:00.001-07:00

In awe of the light show, originally uploaded by emdot.

I'm loving this photo.

Happiness is...

2010-10-05T13:16:00.001-07:00

Happiness is..., originally uploaded by emdot.

Funny how old photos will sometimes slink back into your life. This photo has been beckoning me now for over a week. Lovely spring.

Other happiness is's:

Noon time coffee

During an overcast, flirting with stormy, day

Cool art for cribs

Cool art from kids

What the world needs now is love sweet love

2010-09-15T07:38:00.001-07:00

my first banksy, originally uploaded by emdot.

What the world needs more than anything is bodhisattvas, active servants of peace, “clothed,” as Longchenpa said, “in the armor of perseverance,” dedicated to their bodhisattva vision and to the spreading of wisdom into all reaches of our experience. We need bodhisattva lawyers, bodhisattva artists and politicians, bodhisattva doctors and economists, bodhisattva teachers and scientists, bodhisattva technicians and engineers, bodhisattvas everywhere, working consciously as channels of compassion and wisdom at every level and in every situation of society; working to transform their minds and actions and those of others, working tirelessly in the certain knowledge of the support of the buddhas and enlightened beings for the preservation of our world and for a more merciful future.

— Sogyal Rinpoche

and one more....

In Tibet we say: “Negative action has one good quality: it can be purified.” So there is always hope. Even murderers and the most hardened criminals can change and overcome the conditioning that led them to their crimes. Our present condition, if we use it skillfully and with wisdom, can be an inspiration to free ourselves from the bondage of suffering.

— Sogyal Rinpoche

So good. :)

Yesterday was my birthday and I got a song :)

2010-09-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks Patrick! It's so great! :)

I'm making a quilt

2010-08-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

a year and half late, but...

2010-08-21T00:06:00.000-07:00

i never watched Lost while it was the it-tv-show that the rest of the world watched and fretted over. steve and i only started it two months ago (give or take -- okay take -- two weeks). we tore through it. so delicious.

we watched season 1 through 5 like junkies do their drug of choice. another hit. another hit. another hit. more more more.

we finished season five a week ago and have to wait until tuesday for season six to be released on dvd to see the final season. this hiatus has given me time to think and ponder over the ending of season 5 and wtf it means and yadda yadda.

so while i know the rest of the human race has moved on, i'm stuck in that limbo that was may 2009 - january 2010. :) and i thought i would just write down one thought i have before i see the last season.

in season five we see jacob visit all of our lostaways back in the united states. kate and sawyer when they were still kids (kate steals the NKOTB lunch box; sawyer is writing his letter after his parents' funeral.) with the others they are adults. the receiving line of sun and jin's wedding. right before jack rats out his dad; right before sayid sees his wife killed in the crosswalk; right after hurley is released from jail.

what's it all mean, alfie?

so my guess is that jacob visits them all right before they lose their innocence and hope. .... jacob is the serpent. he hands our lostway protagonists the apple from the tree of knowledge, knowing they will take a bite.

i'll read this again after i see season six. i wonder if i'm right.

related: Television Without Pity recapper ponders the jacob meetings.

the headstrong pachyderm

2010-05-04T00:08:00.001-07:00

the headstrong pachyderm, originally uploaded by emdot.

my latest encounter with the elephant in the book stacks. (more pachyderm encounters of the photographic kind).

and making things come full circle... inbox. zero. elefante.

inbox zero

2010-05-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

I'm a big believer in Inbox0 and I've also had great success with it. When my email inbox does begin to creep up (27, 53, 75, 108) I will admit to my life being less organized and I'm probably busier than I should be, too.

My inbox has been hovering somewhere between 70 and 78 for more than two weeks (probably more than a month as I was sick most of April). I knew I needed to tackle it -- and I did start, only to be met with a flurry of new emails.

Friday evening I'd made great progress. Monday morning I was wrapping it up. Gaining momentum. Picking 'em off, addressing the need, and moving on.

With 13 email left, I fired a reply to my student assistant (not yet in the office; probably in class) acknowledging a week-old email and thanking him for some insight and work.

His reply:

Somebody's on a mission towards Inbox 0.

I take it this email didn't help.

Jerry

He knows me very well. And no, the email didn't help. :)

And in the meantime another email came in, so once again: just 13 more to go! :)

My Little April Fool's Project

2010-04-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

I blog and tell the whole story (lots of pictures, too) on my work blog, Autologic. Check it out! It really made my day. :)

oh my dear mr. bun

2010-03-29T23:18:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Automatt.

(actually, this photo is better without any of my trying-to-be-witty comments. i love this photo.) thanks, Matthew, for letting me blog this. :)

this is me taking photos on the floor

2010-03-29T11:58:00.001-07:00

this is me taking photos on the floor, originally uploaded by emdot.

I am on a quest for a certain kind of photo of levis. So of course the first place I turn to is flickr. I do an advanced search. Creative Commons. Open to commercial use. Open to being modified.

Number one "most interesting" photo? MY PHOTO! Yea! Too bad it's not the photo I'm looking for. :)

Did they ask Chuck?

2010-03-28T20:13:00.001-07:00

Did they ask Chuck?, originally uploaded by Kevin.

Love.

Cima on the Temblor Range

2010-03-28T16:48:00.001-07:00

Cima on the Temblor Range, originally uploaded by Echo_29.

From Echo_29: their dog Cima romping through the wild flowers in the Carrizo Plain.

Carrizo Not So Plain

2010-03-23T23:03:00.001-07:00

Carrizo Not So Plain, originally uploaded by emdot.

I shot over 500 photos on Monday. As you can see, how could I not?

Oh this is the squirrel in its neighborhood

2010-03-22T12:40:00.001-07:00

it's rarely a straight path

2010-03-22T10:33:00.001-07:00

it's rarely a straight path, originally uploaded by emdot.

so i woke up in a slightly crappy mood. not really interested in meditating. and then that kind compounded my crappy mood because here is the deal: doing what you say you are going to do helps alleviate a crappy mood. it just does. for me. and that is because it is a step of faith and commitment. as opposed to being a big talker.

i'm so done being a big talker.

and then i read this:

The practice of mindfulness defuses our negativity, aggression, and turbulent emotions, which may have been gathering power over many lifetimes. Rather than suppressing emotions or indulging in them, here it is important to view them—your thoughts and whatever arises—with an acceptance and generosity that are as open and spacious as possible. Tibetan masters say that this wise generosity has the flavor of boundless space, so warm and cozy that you feel enveloped and protected by it, as if by a blanket of sunlight.

— Sogyal Rinpoche

And so yes. I will sit.

Mustardo de Oro

2010-03-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Montana de Oro

2010-03-20T13:19:00.001-07:00

Montana de Oro, originally uploaded by emdot.

Yesterday was lovely. There will be a host of photos. :)

Peekaboo Gull

2010-03-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

my bird can't sing

2010-03-20T08:16:00.001-07:00

my bird can't sing, originally uploaded by emdot.

i couldn't tell you why, but i really like this photo.

in which i express my thanks to the poet who allows me to keep my head raised high while i write rhymes about my lunch and snacks

2010-02-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

Ogden Nash we owe you mightly
For your verse compacted tightly

(What I'm struggling with omitting
Is a rhyme that's not quite fitting

Still if you had lived this time of blight
i'm sure you'd rhyme the slang ai-ight)

Lunch, redux

2010-02-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

O Trader Joe's Green Burrito
So tasty hot, a little spicy
I've said before that you were neato
(And you'd go nicely with some iced tea)

(O Ogden Nash I owe you largely
for your rhyming of the ord'nry
I think this lunch would suit you smartly
tasty and it's alimentary)

Two great new posts from Christine Kane

2010-02-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

Truth be told, I could probably link to Christine's blog every damn time she posts because the whole thing is just one right on thing after the other. But these last two spoke a specific shazam into my being and so I share in case you need a specific kind of shazam, too.

Letting Go of the Cycle of Depletion
I'm at a stage right now where I cognitively know I am afraid of "disappearing" when I accomplish my goals. By disappearing I really mean shaking the very foundation of everything I've built my life on. Those things you complain about? Sometimes those things are really cozy. They prop you up and remind you of Who You Are. What will you be if you don't have them anymore?
You Don't Have to Know How
Imagine if your GPS responded with all doubts and boo hoos when you entered your destination.

Rich Color Crayon Extravaganza

2010-01-31T11:47:00.000-08:00

Cool multi-colored crayons from somewhere in Japan. I hope these get imported pronto and somehow end up at a cute shop downtown where I can purchase them. (Via COLOURlovers.)

Motivational Reminder

2010-01-31T11:42:00.001-08:00

Inspired by Derek Powazek's post about becoming a runner. Surely if Derek, who is a self-proclaimed couch potato, can do this daily, I can too.

(Note: I'm coming back from a foot injury that basically kept me from weight-bearing exercise; I've been finding restarting my program surprisingly difficult. I re-start tomorrow morning.)

Fighting Exhaustion (and I want to win)

2010-01-30T15:08:00.001-08:00

we'll deal with it later, originally uploaded by emdot.

So I've been tired. I'm tired when I get up in the morning; I'm tired when I get to work. I'm tired during the day; I'm tired when I get home. I seem a little disinterested in everything. Life is tasting a bit like a bowl of plain oatmeal and that is no way to live. Sure, it's enough to live on -- but it's not making a smile spread across my face.

So, I'm going to do an experiment for the month of February and will see if this helps.

For the month of February I am going to

Go to the gym before work, 5x/week
Eat a healthy breakfast (I already do this)
Focus on some happy thoughts (see below)
Walk for 10 minutes at lunch time
and Drink 2L of water every day

About the thinking the happy thoughts... I wish I had a better word for this. Martha Beck calls it treasuring and this is what it consists of:

Think of something your heart really years for. Now imagine that you have that thing, whatever it is. Spend 10 solid minutes imagining this with all senses -- what does it sound like, look like, feel like, taste like, smell like. 10 solid minutes.

That's it.

And that's what I'm going to do for February and I really really hope it brings me some more oomph. Some more get up and go (cuz my get up go seems to have got up and went. <-- I wish I made that up. Clever.).

I'll let you know how it goes.

Shadow Man

2010-01-28T23:03:00.001-08:00

52 Weeks: Week 4, originally uploaded by 7-how-7.

Wow. 7s is pretty much kicking some 52-weeks ass in this photo. I love this!

winter in prairieland

2010-01-26T22:34:00.001-08:00

Magpie, originally uploaded by Jean Albus.

god love flickr and all the wonderful glimpses it gives us into both the ordinary and the extraordinary.

kinda hit home with me

2010-01-25T13:16:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by emdot.

It is only through disruptions and confusion that we grow, jarred out of ourselves by the collision of someone else's private world with our own. — Joyce Carol Oates

An ode to my breakfast

2010-01-25T08:13:00.001-08:00

ottawa bagels., originally uploaded by heather.

Thank you dear bagel with jelly
You're tasty from my mouth to belly
You're doughy, you're sweet
You're so good to eat
Inspiring rhymes that are silly

Dear jelly on top of this bagel
A great meal to find at my table
Your sweetness is tasty
My eating is hasty
Devour? I'm willing and able

Bad Buns Bad Buns, What you gonna do?

2010-01-24T11:21:00.001-08:00

Don't let your jackalope, originally uploaded by 7-how-7.

All true. All factual. All proven. All documented. A must read for Travelers of the West: True Tales of Jackalopes Gone Bad. Learn the stories that the postcard proprietors don't want you to know.

7s version: 52 Weeks: Week 3

2010-01-20T19:53:00.001-08:00

52 Weeks: Week 3, originally uploaded by 7-how-7.

I love his 52 this week. :)

a river ran through it

2010-01-17T11:02:00.001-08:00

a river ran through it, originally uploaded by emdot.

Here you see the San Andreas Fault in action. Super slo-mo, but action nonetheless.

This is Wallace Creek, a (typically) bone dry shadow of a creek in the Carrizo Plain. At one point (back when it was still in diapers or perhaps just learning how to sound-out the words), Wallace Creek ran straight-ish. And then the earth shook and Wallace Creek moved a little. A couple hundred years later the earth shook again, and again, Wallace Creek moved a little. Over and over, every couple hundred of years.

The sign post says that eventually this spot will be in the same zip code as the golden gate bridge.

golden eagle from afar

2010-01-17T10:19:00.001-08:00

golden eagle, originally uploaded by emdot.

Yesterday we ventured out to the Carrizo Plain again (so great out there). We saw a golden eagle from some distance. Slowed down to take its photo (it was on a pole), but it flew off when we rolled down the window.

Golden eagles are the third largest raptor on our continent (only bald eagles and California condors are bigger). Check out this set to see how big a golden eagle is in the hands of a human.

be the light or reflect it

2010-01-15T20:52:00.001-08:00

her nose was itching, originally uploaded by emdot.

it's pretty easy. :)

There are two ways of spreading light...to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.

— Edith Wharton

avian flew

2010-01-12T18:00:00.001-08:00

avian flew, originally uploaded by emdot.

Uh oh bird.

i loved this

2010-01-11T08:12:00.001-08:00

Lewis and Clark surveying San Luis Obispo de Tolosa (c 2010 version), originally uploaded by emdot.

From an email I got today (a several-times-a-week dealie from Shambhala).

Faith is a sense of dignity.The Christian mystic Meister Eckhart talks about faith in the sense of being awake: being present and mindful and aware of the situation. Faith is seeing things as they are -- whatever that might be -- precisely, directly, and without any hesitation.

beauty in the devastation

2010-01-07T22:20:00.001-08:00

charred sticks and ash, originally uploaded by Lynn.....

my friend lynnie recently visited the area of the station fire. this photo is so incredibly sad and moving. and yet hopeful, because i know it will grow back (with time). (and care.).

san simeon (1/52)

2010-01-07T13:37:00.001-08:00

san simeon (1/52), originally uploaded by emdot.

52 Weeks is a Flickr project/group where one takes a self portrait each week for a year. Last year Orrin did it and I was in love with his project! I loved it so much -- and he had a big year as his first child was born. It was very inspiring. I've been thinking about doing this project for about a month. I'm starting with the new year.

What I wrote on Flickr

I took a photo each day this week, wondering which of the photos I would choose for my inaugural photo. I chose this one, which was taken off the side of Highway 1 in San Simeon California after 7s and I went to see the Elephant Seals in Piedras Blancas. Last day of Christmas Vacation.

I'm ridiculously excited about this year. Yea 2010! Yea new decade!

Week Highlights

New Year's Day
Taking the flags up
Seeing the elephant seals
Taking down Christmas
Going back to work
Hurting my back (ow!)
Sewing curtains
NY's lunch with Cami, Tom, Dan, Becky, Gregg, Doreen, Jim, Anna, Shane, Kaz, and Steve (on the 2nd, not the first cuz we were all pooped on the first)

unicorn chaser

2010-01-04T21:54:00.001-08:00

super cute, originally uploaded by emdot.

for previous post. :)

this life. it will end.

2010-01-04T19:42:00.001-08:00

Dancers at a gathering, originally uploaded by *CA*.

and that pisses me off.

and further impoliteness, i have recently said in other nether regions of the intertubes:

(meh. i shouldn't add a negative twist. i always loved getting older and then i passed some line -- not an age line but a ... hmmm... just a whatthefuck line and now i donotlikeitatall and age can gofuckitself and oh no now i'm just a typicalwoman. FUCK! arghh. poo. etc.)

whatevs. so sue me. that's a pretty honest insight into me who is usually abnormally pollyannaroseyglasses.

Healing Our World

2009-09-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

From an email I got today...

The term "warrior" in the Shambhala tradition is a translation of the Tibetan word pawo. Pa means "brave," and wo makes it "a person who is brave." The warrior tradition we are discussing is a tradition of bravery. You might have the idea of a warrior as someone who wages war. But in this case, we are not talking about warriors as those who engage in warfare. Warriorship here refers to fundamental bravery and fearlessness. Warriorship is based on overcoming cowardice and our sense of being wounded.If we feel fundamentally wounded, we may be afraid that somebody is going to put stitches in us to heal our wound. Or maybe we have already had the stitches put in, but we dare not let anyone take them out. The approach of the warrior is to face all those situations of fear or cowardice. The general goal of warriorship is to have no fear. But the ground of warriorship is fear itself. In order to be fearless, first we have to find out what fear is.

From "Facing Yourself," in Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery, coming in October from Shambhala Publications.

“This is powerful dharma encouragement to awaken our own fearless and wise heart - from one of the most remarkable and brilliant teachers of modern times.” — Jack Kornfield

unlove

2009-09-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

streve of the daily coyote wrote a really nice post about her ideas regarding internet hate. and i loved reading it and thinking about it in this new way that streve describes. i think she is right on track.

read streve's thoughts at this untitled post.

imodinari photos... present and past

2009-09-13T23:49:00.001-07:00

towards the light

2009-09-08T09:38:00.001-07:00

towards the light, originally uploaded by emdot.

The Ocean

2009-09-07T06:29:00.001-07:00

ocean, two, originally uploaded by emdot.

Inspired by Raul Gutierez's Heading East blog post, Kennedy & the Ocean.

[insert rob breszny platitude here] [you know the drill]

2009-08-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
First of all, my friend, you don't need any second-hand anything, let alone second-hand love.
Second of all, dearest, you are hereby ordered not to hang around any third-rate situations where you feel like a fifth wheel. You understand?
Thirdly, wonderful one, keep in mind that any eight ball you may fantasize that you're behind is just a figment of your own delusions.
Fourthly, lover, I assure you that your sixth sense can now lead you -- if you cleanse it of its excess superstition -- to a place that is, if you have a good imagination, a suburb of the seventh heaven.

this photo knocks my socks off

2009-07-30T19:22:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by LunaSol.

by a long-time flickr friend, martha, aka lunasol.

recent poems

2009-07-24T13:44:00.001-07:00

family portrait, originally uploaded by Orrin.

o ivaloo
what am i gonna do
you have cheeks i want to kiss
and fingers! hair! i cannot miss

o little ivaloo
what's the world to do
'cept to love and cheer your birth
and smile that you're here on earth

our dear sweet ivaloo
i wonder what you'll do
dreams you'll have and feats you'll take
adventures love and all -- partake

oh baby ivaloo
know that we all love you

For my friend Stephan who will be busking tonight outside of Comic-Con

i wish i were in san diego.
your singing and playing will be en fuego.
i hope when you sing you sound like a dago.
tomorrow for breakfast you can have a bagel.

And with that, I keep my day job!

mais oui

2009-07-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

"At the side of the everlasting why, is a yes, and a yes, and a yes"

— E. M. Forster

i constantly get confused about hope good or bad?

2009-07-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.

— Anne Lamott

Buddhism says that hope is just the flip side of fear; let it go let it go let it go. But so many other things say to believe -- seize! -- go forward -- persevere.

What if I choose to believe the wrong one?

communicating with other life forms

2009-07-15T14:07:00.001-07:00

twenty-eight of 52, originally uploaded by Orrin.

ha ha ha. this makes me laugh. orrin is good with the skype and the what not. so is steve. me? not so much.

In which I ask Rob Breszny to Marry Me

2009-07-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): O ye of little faith: Do ye not understand that the events of mid-July through mid-August of 2009 are but the fruition of seeds ye planted in September, October, and November of last year? Do not thank or blame the gods, but only thyself, for the destiny that is upon ye. Now please prepare to assume thy new goodies and perks, O favored one, as well as thy new temptations and headaches, with full knowledge that ye are receiving the exact rewards and responsibilities ye earned many months ago.

I've already seen the fruition just this afternoon. I don't know if I should laugh, cry, run, jump on a plane or sit down on my meditation cushion.

Oh who am I fooling? Meditation cushion. It's all about being awake. Right here. And grateful. Right now.

tripping on the sidwalk of the dharma

2009-07-12T09:11:00.001-07:00

out west, originally uploaded by emdot.

Life on the practical level does not contain any subtle philosophy or subtle mystical experience. It just is. If we are able to see that isness, so to speak, then there is a sense of realization. We experience sudden enlightenment. Without a sense of hopelessness, there is no way to give birth to sudden enlightenment. Only giving up our projects brings about the ultimate, definite, positive state of being, which is the realization that we are already enlightened beings here and now.

— Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche (Crazy Wisdom, pg 95 via "Ocean of Dharma" mailing list)

This is where I stumble with Buddhism: how do you know when to make a change? When to act? When to change course? According to Buddhism there is none of that; there is only right now.

But I'm not sure that that philosophy always serves you. What if you need to veer a little? What if you need to turn hard? What if staying in the same place, which is fine enough, adds up to a pretty big wrong-direction in the long haul?

If I were so lucky as to be able to ask a good teacher questions, that is what I would ask. But hopefully more eloquently.

I just heard about this...

2009-06-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

And oh man I want to go. This is exactly what I've been wanting: a retreat; to be with Sangha; to hear the Sakyong; to hear Pema; to be in the mountains (oh man I want to be in the Rockies surrounded by aspen yes! with afternoon thunderstorms yes yes!); to sit on my cushion; to simplify everything; to quiet my mind.

I love Shambhala Mountain Center so much. Some places just capture my heart immediately (the high desert has been featured prominently recently, but there are of course others) and SMC is definitely one of those places. I was lucky enough to be at the Consecration of the Great Stupa of Dharmakaya back in 01 and things really fell into place for me after that. I would like that very much again.

overheard

2009-06-26T20:28:00.001-07:00

Ivaloo, originally uploaded by Orrin.

orrin: let us know if you would like to skype with our baby because our baby would probably love to skype with you.

oh Ivaloo you are born into a crazy, connected, wonderful age. :)

love to the andersons and thomases. my heart just pours over with happiness for you. xo.

buddha loves lomo

2009-06-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

this comes as no surprise (brezsny version)

2009-06-23T19:20:00.001-07:00

love is in the air, originally uploaded by emdot.

(my blog has become less of a blog and simply justs notes to myself). (this note comes from brezsny)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There's a better than even chance that you're about to embark on a Summer of Love. To improve your odds even more, meditate on the following questions.

What qualities do you look for in a lover that you would benefit from developing more fully in yourself?
What do you think are your two biggest delusions about the way love works?
Is there anything you can do to make yourself more lovable?
Is there anything you can do to be more loving?
Are you willing to deal with the fact that any intimate relationship worth pursuing will inevitably evoke the most negative aspects of both partners — and require both partners to heal their oldest wounds?

(note to self)

2009-06-22T16:06:00.001-07:00

i'm not sure what this means, but i like it., originally uploaded by emdot.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
— Anais Nin

And two more things to ponder a la Martha Beck

The struggle itself is enough to fill our hearts. — Camus
Your path should be chosen by your heart's desires, not by what seems to be working (or not working). — M. Beck.

gentleness brings daring

2009-06-22T08:11:00.001-07:00

the longest day of the year, originally uploaded by emdot.

When there is daring, you dare to do something: you put forth your vision fearlessly. People have doubts about big vision because they don't have a sense of gentleness in themselves first. So gentleness brings daring and a sense of fearlessness. Daring is appreciation of letting go in the fundamental sense. First you develop gentleness toward yourself; then you begin to develop daring, which is connected with how to express your gentleness to the world outside, how to proclaim your sanity. Your are not going crazy because you have seen the Great Eastern Sun, which is the symbol of expansive vision in the Shambhala world. Rather, because you have seen the Great Eastern Sun, you are very daring and at the same time very gentle and soft. The softer you become, the greater the message to the world becomes.

— Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

father's day

2009-06-21T07:25:00.001-07:00

my dad is very political, originally uploaded by emdot.

My dad probably doesn't know this (but I will tell him today when I call him): my dad song is Blue Sky by the Allman Brothers. My dad loves the Allmans. Me too. And he loves that song. Me too. And it always makes me think of him.

My three favorite father/daughter songs:

Daugher by Louden Wainwright III
that's my daughter in the water / everything she owns i bought her
Daughters by John Mayer
fathers, be good to your daughters / daughters will love like you do
Father and Daughter by Paul Simon
as long as one and one is two / there could never be a father / who loved his daughter more than I love you

orrin and stacey had a baby

2009-06-19T23:36:00.001-07:00

twenty-five of 52, originally uploaded by Orrin.

some things are very right in this world.

overheard

2009-06-11T17:44:00.001-07:00

let your leaf light shine, originally uploaded by emdot.

So, Firefox keeps crashing on me when I try to print. Not every time, but often enough that it unnerves me. And infrequent enough that each time it crashes I'm surprised.

Tyson suggested that I move to Safari.

Me: I don't like it; it's too pared down.
Tyson: Pared down? What do you mean? Too fast? Too efficient?

rob brezsny, for the love of god can you just freaking spell it out for me?

2009-06-09T14:31:00.001-07:00

liminal, originally uploaded by emdot.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A talent scout who has the power to change
your course is drawing closer and closer. Find out why, and capitalize on
it. Meanwhile, a chameleon who has always had your number just lost it.
Find out the details, and take advantage. If that's not enough to keep you
busy, I'll clue you in to the fact that a cool fool only recently realized you
have something that he or she wants. Find out who and what, and exploit
the possibilities. (P.S.: I should also mention that there's a wild thing out
there who would love to lick your hand. Find out why, etc.)

true, true

2009-05-28T12:46:00.001-07:00

equal truths, originally uploaded by emdot.

I read one of these in a Facebook comment, the other in a Sierra Club email. I love them both.

overheard

2009-05-27T08:25:00.001-07:00

the string-bean making reflection of an old chevy truck, originally uploaded by emdot.

Me: Did you know that you can pay your Cal Poly parking tickets online?

Mike: You sound very excited about that. Did you know that you can refuse to pay your Cal Poly parking tickets offline?

wrapping up loose ends

2009-05-20T18:17:00.001-07:00

remains of the day, originally uploaded by emdot.

I love loose ends. I'm way more comfortable to leave things hanging than to tie things up. Tying things up makes me nervous.

But that does not serve me.

A couple of weeks ago I read a little blog post by Christine Kane about loose ends and how these create energy leaks in our lives. She says to wrap things up to have more energy and focus on what your heart really wants to do.

So I made my list. My four-paged list of things left undone. And I began to tackle them. My four-paged list became a three-and-a-half paged list. And a week later and I'm at two-and-a-half pages. Progress.

I'm giving myself four months to wrap it all up. End of September and I'm going to be one wrapped up emdot. And I hoping that this will bring new focus and clarity, a huge sense of accomplishment, and new comfort with resolve and closure.

moonglow lamp low all i need is a rainbow

2009-05-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

[Hear the song. I played this song over and over when I first heard it. Oh Eleni. So lovely.]

overheard

2009-05-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

trying to get our head systems guy to help me out at noon....

marya: is lunch really that important to you?
mark: me ignore you. you go away.

later...

mark: now, don't be offended by this word, but i think it might be Sephardic.
marya: why would i be offended by that word?
mark: ah. well. i...
marya: you're 12.

blur moon rising

2009-05-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

last week's amazing full moon, from Discovery Park in Safford, Arizona. it was a lovely one.

a docent was walking around with her flashlight, looking for rattlesnakes and the "resident gila monster." and she kept standing too close to the camera, hence the left-side light bursts.

Stella (aunt), Robert (uncle), Evan (brother) and I took a walk to Discovery park as the day turned into dusk. We ran into Rochelle (aunt) on the walk and we all turned around to call it day. But once we got to Robert and Rochelle's Rochelle said, hey let's go up to Discovery Park to see the stars. So we jumped in the car and headed up the easy way (no rattlesnakes or gila monsters). There we innocently crashed an observatory party and got to see Saturn in the telescope and became the life of the party (take my word). And I got a bunch of blurry night shots.

overheard

2009-05-15T10:45:00.001-07:00

Marya: How hot is it outside?
Evan: Too.

overheard

2009-05-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

Upon Evan's perplexed and shocked reaction when I announced that he was going to help me clean up after dinner...

Grandma: he's got a puzzle in his eyes.

getting to Reader0

2009-05-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ever since drinking the Getting Things Done Kool-Aid, I revel in getting to Anything0. Work inbox0. Gmail0. Reader0. Especially Reader0.

I went on vacation and had no internet access for six or so days, which meant I was at Reader>1000 (it stops counting after 1000). Being a big fan of "Mark All As Read" I promptly did so with most of my often-updated subscriptions. Except these. I can't with these. I love these feeds and no matter how much I'm dying to declare Reader Bankruptcy (hit the Mother of all Mark As Read), I can't bear to not read these. :)

So five days home and I still haven't hit my Reader 0 mark. But at least I know I have good things to see and read. Special shout out to Craft and Design*Sponge, my fave of the faves.

I love this photo

2009-05-15T09:40:00.001-07:00

Holga Lake, originally uploaded by Echo_29.

Pure magic. From the Echoes.

in the dark despite repeated patterns

2009-05-15T07:20:00.001-07:00

in the dark despite repeated patterns, originally uploaded by emdot.

sometimes i have to learn the same thing over and over again before it sinks in. and then when it does sink in it feels as if this is a Brand New Thing Never Learned Before Shazam.

for instance, meditation. i'm a pretty good meditator in that i can sit still for hours. not a problem. if my nose itches -- i can sit there with that itch and not even feel a twitch from my hand to scratch. i just sit there with the itch. i know it will go away. i kinda let the itch scratch itself.

this morning i realized (in the shower of course where all ahas happen) that i could treat my emotions the same way. just don't scratch them. don't follow them. don't write them down in my blog (ha ha ha heh). just be still. and let them scratch themselves.

i love rooftops

2009-05-14T15:38:00.001-07:00

i love rooftops, originally uploaded by emdot.

definitely the highlight of my day today.

overheard

2009-05-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

We got a message today, warning us to not get sucked in to a particularly tricky spam email that hit the campus.

Mike: Oh my god. People actually responded to that scam.
Marya: How do you know?
Mike: ITS just sent out an email.... What? Does my mom work on campus??!!

overheard

2009-05-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

KMC: Design is like flying a kite. Some days are windy and others aren't.

(she's one of my student assistants, off to fly the coop this spring when she graduates in june. she's a good one, that kmc)

i'm very serious

2009-05-13T13:32:00.001-07:00

better than abracadabra, originally uploaded by emdot.

try this. soak in it. marinate yourself. see it. taste it. smell it. hear it. know it. put it next to your heart. feel it on your skin. that's a good start.

what a great quote

2009-05-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.

— Alice Walker

I get a daily email from the Sierra Club called Daily Ray of Hope. Truly, the only reason I get the email is because they pull images from Flickr and there is a chance that one of my photos will be used. :) But sometimes the quotes are so good, it keeps me subscribed even though I rarely submit a photo.

and now break time

2009-05-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

whew. that was like an internets blitzkrieg. and on that note, i'm hitting the road and not taking the internets with me. good bye internets. see you when i see you.

all i want to pack is books

2009-05-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm going on a trip tomorrow. All I want to pack is books (I've written about this before). Books, a couple pens, lots of paper. My iPod. That's all I want to take. But I'm thinking I should seriously consider a change of clothes and maybe a toothbrush. :)

Today started out great, but then I got into a weird mood. But the good thing that happened is that I went to look for that packing blog post (referenced above) and instead went down a really fun emdot memory lane. I sometimes get embarrassed that I still blog, but I tell you, it's a fun personal read for me, going back and seeing what was going on five years ago or so.

Things I was reminded of tonight:

If I love you, you DO have a nickname in my life. :) (or you will soon; i just realized becky doesn't have a nickname) (and i adore her).
I crack myself up
overheards are still fun (for me) to read

When you can't run

2009-05-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

My foot has been hurt now since mid-February. Look. This isn't going to kill me, but damn if it doesn't hinder what I can do. And all I can tell you is that what I've needed to do for the past three months straight is this: RUN.

And I can't.

And that, my friends, is frustrating.

And it's not that I'm a good runner or super fit or training for some major-run-a-thon. But that my body needs to be moved to physical exhaustion for the benefit of my brain. My brain has all this crazy energy that needs to be released via serious strenuous physical exertion.

I guess this is a complaint blog post. :) I had to share. Thank you, blog, for being a place to share. With strangers. And/or huge internet void. Either way.

Everyone: send me your healing foot vibes so I get get out on a trail or a track again. And I will reward you by being a sane, exhausted person.

Note to self

2009-05-06T14:41:00.003-07:00

Fireworks #1, originally uploaded by Camera Slayer.

Note to self (part II)

2009-05-06T14:41:00.001-07:00

Fireworks on Planet Krypton, originally uploaded by MikeJonesPhoto.

Love

2009-05-06T13:06:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by moxiee.

Wow. I really love this photo. Taken by Flickr friend Moxiee/Annie (I was lucky enough to meet her via 7s) at a friend's wedding. This photo gets me in the gut and in the heart. Just so great.

give it time (aka me stating the obvious)

2009-05-06T07:42:00.001-07:00

good morning, originally uploaded by emdot.

what i love about life: it all comes around. if you can't find your groove -- sit tight, it will come. lost your focus? your vision? your gumption? it'll come back. just trust and hold on.

lately i've been grasping at my old goals... but not really feeling the passion for them. the drive the mission the focus... all of this has eluded me for a good three months. instead i felt foggy and muddy. and worried that i'd lost my way.

this morning (and maybe i'm being premature; maybe i should hold on for a few days at a time of feeling like this; maybe it's just the coffee) i feel laser sharp and ready to go.

THANK GOD.

i needed that back. i needed that back to go forward.

and now it's May and I love May and forward I go. and i hope things are good and forward for you, too.

Seeing what was not seen before

2009-05-04T15:11:00.001-07:00

yolk / yoke, originally uploaded by emdot.

Dudjom Rinpoche says of the moment when Rigpa is directly revealed: “That moment is like taking a hood off your head. What boundless spaciousness and relief! This is the supreme seeing: seeing what was not seen before.” When you “see what was not seen before,” everything opens, expands, and becomes crisp, clear, brimming with life, vivid with wonder and freshness. It is as if the roof of your mind were dying off, or a flock of birds suddenly took off from a dark nest. All limitations dissolve and fall away, as if, the Tibetans say, a seal were broken open.

— Sogyal Rinpoche

Ain't that the truth, though.

some day i won't bank on astrology

2009-04-22T16:12:00.001-07:00

squirrely, originally uploaded by emdot.

that day, though, has not yet come. ;)

Having it out
There is great likelihood of ego conflicts with others today, because the pressure of circumstances will draw you closer to others now than at almost any other time. That is, you have to work with them! You have little or no choice in the matter. Obviously, anyone whom you tend to have difficulty with will be a source of trouble today, because you cannot escape the confrontation. In fact it is a good idea to have it out and get your problems into the open so that perhaps you can clear it up. The point is that you will not derive much benefit from keeping to yourself today. Even if your only encounter with another person is unpleasant, it will be useful to you in the long run. If you withdraw, the initiative will be taken out of your own hands, and you will still have the confrontation.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Sun Opposition Ascendant, , exact at 09:24
activity period from 22 April 2009 to 24 April 2009

Yeah. WHATEVER STARS.

flying concertina

2009-04-19T21:33:00.001-07:00

flying concertina
Originally uploaded by The 10 cent designer

my wonderful friend, 10 cent designer doing her part in calgary canada. lori andrews you are my hero. xo.

It's okay to hope; just don't book it as a promise

2009-04-15T08:13:00.001-07:00

b(l)oom!, originally uploaded by emdot.

I share this because of the post on nihilism a month or so ago. Something I get stuck in. And hope is such a tricky thing for me... The Buddhists say that hope is just the flip side of fear -- and we want to not get sucked into our fears, right? So, I also try not to get sucked into my hope. And I push it away.

So maybe now no more pushing, and instead just open-handed looking.

Regard any sense of promise that comes into your mind, any hope that comes up, as another thought. If there is a strong desire to achieve a result, that will push you back. You could relate to hope as respect for the dharma, or the truth, rather than a promise. — Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

flickr got me in the gut today

2009-04-14T08:11:00.001-07:00

It's not you...it's me, originally uploaded by It'sGreg.

here is one of the photos i swooned over this morning with my cup of coffee (here are more). i love this.

flight of the condors

2009-04-11T12:14:00.001-07:00

flight of the condors, originally uploaded by darkmatter.

this photo is rocking my world. this is from darkmatter down irvine way, but looks like he was spending time in the grand canyon. this is not photoshopped -- this is really three different condors.

magic.

emdot :::

Moving my blog

Hi, we're cute

The Quail of Baileyana

It's been blooming for months

San Francisco was lovely

A Boy's Life

Morning Flyby - Explored 12/19/2009

In awe of the light show

Happiness is...

What the world needs now is love sweet love

Yesterday was my birthday and I got a song :)

I'm making a quilt

a year and half late, but...

the headstrong pachyderm

inbox zero

My Little April Fool's Project

oh my dear mr. bun

this is me taking photos on the floor

Did they ask Chuck?

Cima on the Temblor Range

Carrizo Not So Plain

Oh this is the squirrel in its neighborhood

it's rarely a straight path

Mustardo de Oro

Montana de Oro

Peekaboo Gull

my bird can't sing

in which i express my thanks to the poet who allows me to keep my head raised high while i write rhymes about my lunch and snacks

Lunch, redux

Two great new posts from Christine Kane

Rich Color Crayon Extravaganza

Motivational Reminder

Fighting Exhaustion (and I want to win)

Shadow Man

winter in prairieland

kinda hit home with me

An ode to my breakfast

Bad Buns Bad Buns, What you gonna do?

7s version: 52 Weeks: Week 3

a river ran through it

golden eagle from afar

be the light or reflect it

avian flew

i loved this

beauty in the devastation

san simeon (1/52)

What I wrote on Flickr

unicorn chaser

this life. it will end.

Healing Our World

unlove

imodinari photos... present and past

towards the light

The Ocean

[insert rob breszny platitude here] [you know the drill]

this photo knocks my socks off

recent poems

mais oui

i constantly get confused about hope  good or bad?

communicating with other life forms

In which I ask Rob Breszny to Marry Me

tripping on the sidwalk of the dharma

I just heard about this...

overheard

buddha loves lomo

this comes as no surprise (brezsny version)

(note to self)

gentleness brings daring

father's day

orrin and stacey had a baby

overheard

rob brezsny, for the love of god can you just freaking spell it out for me?

true, true

overheard

wrapping up loose ends

moonglow lamp low all i need is a rainbow

overheard

blur moon rising

overheard

i constantly get confused about hope good or bad?