in the dark despite repeated patterns

in the dark despite repeated patterns, originally uploaded by emdot.

sometimes i have to learn the same thing over and over again before it sinks in. and then when it does sink in it feels as if this is a Brand New Thing Never Learned Before Shazam.

for instance, meditation. i'm a pretty good meditator in that i can sit still for hours. not a problem. if my nose itches -- i can sit there with that itch and not even feel a twitch from my hand to scratch. i just sit there with the itch. i know it will go away. i kinda let the itch scratch itself.

this morning i realized (in the shower of course where all ahas happen) that i could treat my emotions the same way. just don't scratch them. don't follow them. don't write them down in my blog (ha ha ha heh). just be still. and let them scratch themselves.