Hey, Look...

(Inspired by Heather and Derek who were inspired by the New Yorker's Simon Rich.)

Here’s what I imagined the people around me were saying when I was...

Eight:
"Who is that girl with the boy haircut?"
"I don't know, but it looks like Marya."
"That can't be Marya. Obviously it is her twin sister we never knew about."

Ten:
"Whoa! Where is that awesome voice coming from?"
"I think someone is singing in the shower somewhere in the neighborhood."
"With that talent she should be the lead singer of Styx, even tho they don't have a female lead singer."

Twelve:
"Who's the new girl always hanging out in the library?"
"I don't know, but she obviously has an important inner depth."
"Let's be her best friends."

Fourteen:
"Who is that? A new teacher?"
"No, a student."
"She obviously reads Seventeen magazine."
"Yes she has excellent preppy fashion sense."

Fifteen:
"That girl really talks a lot in class."
"She is really full of great insight."
"I could listen to her forever."