you weap what you grow





so, this morning i buckled and it was back to the vet. on top of everything else, i think the cats just sent me over the edge. don't get me wrong: i love them. lurve them. luff them. but the peeing on the furniture and the spreading of the kitty litter all over the house... really, there is only so much i can take. in four days i have gone through a plurality of sponges and an entire roll of paper towels, washed my comforter cover and the bathroom mat, several times, and have found a whole new way to be indebted to chlorox bleach.

protozoan parasites. the little buggers have little buggers. and while it is embarrassing to make multiple trips to the vet in one week (and hard on the pocketbook), it was a good thing. the kitties have lots of medicine and got their little nails trimmed at the same time (i'm covered in scratches, i moaned to the vet tech).

but meanwhile, man, i was a stress case. really interesting as truly i have not been stressed at all since leaving my heart-palpatation-creation job. no muscle tension. no waking up in the middle of the night (okay, it's happened a couple of times, but nothing like when i was working at dub-ay). no tension. none. zilch.

and it was beautiful. until this morning when i realized i was in a full-blown anxiety attack. ahhh, life as a mamacat.

but i can't blame the kittens. i think it was a multitude of things. isn't it always? my mom and sister stopped by (becca is getting married in maui in just one month) and they were great support. but as the hours ticked by i could feel it coming back again. i don't know what i need: a lot of action (meaning getting things done; pull thy head out of the gutter people) or a lot of rest.

i'm thinking a fine mixture of the two.