Saturday, August 27, 2005

written at the blood bank

so last night was a series of unfortunately events. i haven't decided if i'm going to write about it here or not, simply because it could be easily misunderstood. so let me just say, that it was a GREAT day until 10:15 PM when I got pulled over for a traffic violation and blah blah blah it sucked. i'm looking at a big fine that i can't afford and a series of going to this agency and then another to clear things up. no i wasn't speeding or doing harm or endangering anybody. it was more of a beauracracy issue that was misunderstood by the guy who pulled me over. it's not a big deal, but it's a big fine and it's frustrating. and depressing (because of the fine).

i was rattled by the time i got home. and frustrated. and this morning i woke up and thought about just staying in bed a while longer. you know that feeling? but my mom and i had twin appointments at the blood bank and i was overcome with a need to help someone else.

i have found that when you suffer from a series of unfortunate events -- or even just one -- the universal healer is to go and help someone else, preferably with no expectations. this makes blood donations ideal -- you get to give your blood and no one needs to thank you. you'll never know who you helped and they won't know you. BUT you will know that you helped.

and sometimes it is that feeling of knowing that you are helping, that you are contributing, that you can point a finger to an action to say "see i'm a good person" or "see i care" that can make you feel better.

i'm sure in buddhist terms that makes me pathetic. but it is what it is. and is a big reason i am here today, donating blood. i hope it goes to someone who really needs it.

meanwhile, the blood bank has computer monitors! yea! so i surfed flickr and started blogging. i was only able to give a whole blood donation (but wanted to give R1 -- but the R1 machines were booked). my mom is giving R2 -- that means they will be taking two pints of blood from her, separating the platelets and then replenishing her system with fluids. it is a very cool procedure.

the woman who interviewed me before the donation was awesome and really funny and we just laughed a lot during the procedure. the woman who took my blood was really nice and chatty and just the person you would want to take your blood.

i am an EPIC blood donor. i'm in and out in like five seconds flat. i'm also not afraid of needles and it doesn't seem to hurt. so, it's a very easy procedure i can do to help someone else. and i'm glad to.

you should donate blood, too.

Tips for Being a Good Donor
Whole blood donation
R1 donation
R2 donation (aka double rbc donation)

you could save a life. you could make a huge difference to a sick person. you could make a difference.

Thursday, August 25, 2005


Originally uploaded by digitalverve.

interior abstract

Whenever I see photos show up like this one in my contact's streams, I always feel as if they were taken or posted for me. Even when I know full well they weren't. Do I think that digitalverve knows how I feel about this type of interior abstact? Nope. But does my heart feel an instant kinship? Yep. So, I'll just pretend it was for me. ;)

Monday, August 22, 2005

Boats on the back bay, fog ruling the roost

overheard (well, in email from J.J.)

T.S. Eliot never lived in SF,that's fo' sho....
April aint shit, August is a bitch...
The sun and the moon have been hiding all month.....
Summer swallowed up by the pacific....

quick sum up

from email i sent this morning
It's New Job Monday, which would explain me getting email and checking flickr before 6:30 in the morning. Must feed the addiction, and all.

Happy Monday. Cue Boomtown Rats and/or the Bangles (no! no! never cue the bangles!). :)


p.s. current favorite emdot song: "pony" by kasey chambers. i listened to it 45 times over the weekend AND learned it on my guitar. ;)

Other stuff...

- My friends continue to battle some heavy stuff (tragedy and untimely death has affected their lives). Life is hard. My friends are strong. That is good, but my heart still goes out to them.

- Wizard memorial last night. Organized by Jenn and Jillian, two amazing girls. Jenn blows my mind on a regular basis. How does one person get to be so balanced, funny, light-hearted, productive, and easy going? It boggles the mind.

- R.Bean and Ezpei in town. Amazingly good to see them. I forgot how being with Bean is just one belly laugh after the other. Big big laughs are like commas and periods to her spoken sentences. She's something else.

- And did I mention the pony song?

- Oh oh. New camera and I can tell that story later (thanks Becca and Albert). But... I noticed that I'm all of a sudden quite clumsy with my picture taking. Crossing my fingers this is just a learning curve.

- Did you cue your Monday morning music? C'mon people. Today's a big day.

Brett Dennen Fans — listen up

from email
Brett is going to be on national radio this coming week — Aug 23rd he’s going to be featured on World Café, an NPR show — a live performance they recorded in July at WXPN studio in PA. Fans can also catch World Café on Sirius Satellite Radio channel 108 at 9 p.m. EST, or they can listen online at 2 p.m. EST. Check their website to see if the show is playing on a radio show in your listening area. We welcome your help getting the word out to your friends about this, and World Café would love to hear by email what you thought of the show (check the World Café site for the email address.)

Sunday, August 21, 2005

flower of lotus

flower of lotus
Originally uploaded by tamaki.

Best thoughts to KB

For Kristin who's suffered a huge loss. KB, I love you. You are a treasured friend. My heart goes out to you.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

me and wizard

me and wizard
Originally uploaded by emdot.

once more, for old time's sake

A recent photo of me and le Wizard.

Wizzy and the Sculptures

Wizzy and the Sculptures
Originally uploaded by emdot.

Wizard has left the building

The day has come. Well, it came. Last Saturday. Dearest, most cantankerous, and crusty-headed Wizard has passed on to the great arm-chair with the sunny spot in the sky.

Dan called last night to tell me.

Michael called this morning.

Michael: Yep, so it was Saturday.
Mar: What a shocker...
Michael: Yep.
Mar: Well, not so shocking.
Michael: Yeah, not shocking at all. What's shocking is when he'd still be around every Christmas.

How old was Wizard? It's anyone's guess. I remember him hanging out at the Establishment in 1989 and by then he was already a full-grown cat of about two. That makes him born around 1987. Which would make him about 18.

The last few years when friends would come in from out of town and see Wizard laying in the sun or walking down the street, you could hear them suck in a little breath and then say "Wizard! I was afraid to ask about you."

Wizard didn't have nine lives. He had 29 lives. He was bold, he was brash, he was bossy and he was consistently cool. In fact, cool is the operative word for Wizard, even in the last few years when his legs lost their bounce and his fur lost it's temptation for petting.

Wizard, I loved you a lot my little four-legged friend. You were one of the best cats I've ever known. One of the most funny and interesting. And I will forever fondly remember you heading butting my door, your way of letting me know you wanted in.

» Old post about Wizard from 2001

Saturday, August 13, 2005

three boys in the rain 007

three boys in the rain 007
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom.

for a guaranteed smile

Check out Flickr person Lorenzodom for a guaranteed smile. His set Three Boys and Lemonade Stand (which also features Three Boys in the Rain) would be in my favorites, if you could fave a set.

» Three Boys and Lemonade Stand/in the Rain

i took a shot at it, too

i took a shot at it, too
Originally uploaded by emdot.


So I'm going to try to tell this story without using names. Not because anything is embarrassing or personal, but because it is so real. And raw. And respect is needed.

I don't even know where to start this story. So maybe I should just cut to the chase.

Last night one of my dearest friends was the first person at the scene of a horrific car accident. The car was wrapped around a pole as if someone had snipped it in two. My friend heard the screech of the brakes, the skid of the tires, and then the awful impact. He was two blocks away on his bicyle heading home.

Immediately he turns his bike around and heads to the accident. He's the first one there. Another person shows up. The two of them begin CPR and mouth-to-mouth. There is blood. A lot of blood.

He knows her. My friend knows the girl in the car. She's been to his house for parties. She is good friends with his next-door-neighbor. My friend and this other man work their hardest, waiting for the ambulance, for the paramedics, for help. Minutes slow down to the point of miliseconds feeling like they themselves pause under the surreality.

A crowd gathers. The paramedics arrive. And the firemen. And the police. Eventually my friend is relieved of his duties.

The girl dies.

What do you do? What can you do? Life looks so deceivingly resilient, but is incredibly delicate and fragile.

I feel like I shouldn't write about it here, because I don't want to exploit my friend's experience. I don't want to exploit the death of this young woman. I wasn't there. But I see how rattled he is. I see my friend very, very shaken the next day and spend four hours with him at the walk-in clinic.

My heart pours out for him. What are the right words? Maybe silence is best. The entire experience, heartbreaking.

I'm sure this is not written well and probably doesn't make sense. But neither does life. I wish life didn't end. I wish life didn't end. I wish life didn't end.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

start start start

start start start
Originally uploaded by emdot.

start start start

I suffer from Writer's Block. Or Starting Blocks. I'm stuck in that silly start of the race position. The gun goes off, everyone else bursts forth, and there I sit, fingers in the dirt.

Yesterday I got a great piece of advice. It went like this:
Pick one of the openings and start putting words in a row. You're not writing on parchment, after all. You can always redo it.

Okay. So that is what I'm going to do.

every cat dreams

every cat dreams
Originally uploaded by emdot.

to sleep, perchance to dream

Via I found this great article on sleeping from Harvard magazine. (244 other people found it interesting, too.)

I'm one of those people who wishes I could get by on five hours of sleep. Okay. In all honestly, I often get by on just five hours of sleep. But my aunt? That's all my aunt needs. I'm pretty good with 7+.

According to this article though, eight hours of sleep boost our immune systems, make us more productive, and thinner.

I know that when I don't get enough sleep I need to eat more.

I am a sucker for staying up late. I think my perfect schedule would have me hitting the hay somewhere around 1AM and getting up around 8:30. But come on, that's not really feasible in the (get out your quote fingers) "real world."

So instead I tend to tuck myself in between 1 and 2 and wake up around 7:30. Probably not on the road to Health and Wellness, hmm?

So... I'm going to try to get more sleep. Starting tomorrow night. Of course.

» Read the article Deep into Sleep

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Something you should know about me

Originally uploaded by emdot.
Something you should know about me

I am pretty crappy when it comes to toughing it out through low blood sugar. And in fact, it can sometimes hit me by surprise. Today I crashed in about fifteen minutes. I had yogurt and cereal for breakfast around 10. I had a latte around noon. And around 2:30 I hadn't realized I hadn't eaten and started to feel tired. But within, I swear to God, ten minutes I was fully bonking (suffering from low blood sugar): I could barely keep my eyes open; I could have gone to sleep immediately at my desk; I couldn't focus. And I think it would have been a very bad idea for me to drive myself to get a sandwich.

All those people who can skip meals? I envy them. Those that can just have a bit to eat here and there? I envy them too.

Me? You'll find me acting loopy right before my head hits the desk.


I almost got into a car accident today. It was the first time a close call completely pissed me off. I was entering a parking lot. A Ford F250-type of truck was parked on the street, past the parking lot entrance. As I entered, he kicked his car into reverse and floored his truck. He obviously hadn't looked into his rearview mirror. He missed me by inches. I stopped my car and my heart was beating and it took all my willpower not to follow that guy and say "you almost hit me!!" I've never reacted like that to something. I'm glad I had my wits to just keep going.


I can't tell you why by parts of our county are having a skunk epidemic. There's one at my office. Skunks are natural carriers of rabies, so everyone is trying to catch the skunks and then they are put down. Poor skunkies.

sweetdogk's lucky cat

sweetdogk's lucky cat
Originally uploaded by emdot.
I really should be on the road by now. I need to get to work. I've got a lot of things on my plate and less time, it seems, to get them done.

But. This morning. This morning I feel a bit blown over by life -- I don't mean by what I need to get done. I mean... by the delicacy of life. I've had tears in my eyes twice this morning. Not sad tears... how to explain? Just those recognition tears of how all of this is so damn delicate. And resilient. And open and raw and so sharply beautiful.

God, I'm such a chick. And I'm glad for that.

This weekend was fun. Ozomatli on Saturday and the Wallflowers on Sunday. Dan's friend Dave was in town and Dave is one of those cool cats who has something interesting to say and lives his life to ... not just a different drummer... to a whole different instrument. So we all went to Ozomatli (cannot type it without hearing the chant Ohhh Zohhh Mahhht Li) (with SloGrl, too) and boogied up a storm. Busted out a bottle of champagne and toasted my new job. It was fun. Sunday was hanging out with Matt who I haven't seen in forever. There is a nice, quiet ease there; the type that comes from knowing someone from way back when.

Okay, now? Now I must get to work. I hope some magical faeries come to my house and clean it while I'm gone. Am crossing fingers in hopes that they strengthen the probability of said faeries showing up. I'm sure that will help.

Monday, August 08, 2005

A sea of flowers

A sea of flowers
Originally uploaded by angelocesare.
I just have to share with you this most amazing photo. I have had to go back and look at it four, five times. Man. Are there even words to describe this kind of photo?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Kids these days...

Kids these days...
Originally uploaded by AnomalousNYC.
This photo makes me just smile and smile back at my computer monitor. Will you look at that goat's face? Now look at the guy's face. Now look at the goat's smile.

Man. I could spend a good deal of time just looking and looking at this.

First Fez on the Man

First Fez on the Man
Originally uploaded by Big Al Davies.
Big Al on the Radio

Listen up Chickies and Chicklets, Big Al is taking the Welsh radio waves by storm in less than two hours. And you can hear it LIVE today online.

So, set your computer's radio dial to gtfm and get ready to hear the Welsh King of the Fez and Lord of the Ukelele.

Added bonus: It's his birthday.

Added question: How much do you love big al?

Bonus hint answer: A lot! You love him a lot!

xoxo Al. Happy birthday my friend.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Full moon in Positano

Full moon in Positano
Originally uploaded by mcsixth.
Just a quick chance to share with you a photo that just makes my heart pump.

I want to go here. I want to go here. I want to go here.

So much going on in this photo -- cliffs, edge of a continent, full moon (that was eclipsed moments before), the ocean, and then oh those lights.

I could get lost in this photo. In this place.