i took a shot at it, too

i took a shot at it, too
Originally uploaded by emdot.

tragic

So I'm going to try to tell this story without using names. Not because anything is embarrassing or personal, but because it is so real. And raw. And respect is needed.

I don't even know where to start this story. So maybe I should just cut to the chase.

Last night one of my dearest friends was the first person at the scene of a horrific car accident. The car was wrapped around a pole as if someone had snipped it in two. My friend heard the screech of the brakes, the skid of the tires, and then the awful impact. He was two blocks away on his bicyle heading home.

Immediately he turns his bike around and heads to the accident. He's the first one there. Another person shows up. The two of them begin CPR and mouth-to-mouth. There is blood. A lot of blood.

He knows her. My friend knows the girl in the car. She's been to his house for parties. She is good friends with his next-door-neighbor. My friend and this other man work their hardest, waiting for the ambulance, for the paramedics, for help. Minutes slow down to the point of miliseconds feeling like they themselves pause under the surreality.

A crowd gathers. The paramedics arrive. And the firemen. And the police. Eventually my friend is relieved of his duties.

The girl dies.

What do you do? What can you do? Life looks so deceivingly resilient, but is incredibly delicate and fragile.

I feel like I shouldn't write about it here, because I don't want to exploit my friend's experience. I don't want to exploit the death of this young woman. I wasn't there. But I see how rattled he is. I see my friend very, very shaken the next day and spend four hours with him at the walk-in clinic.

My heart pours out for him. What are the right words? Maybe silence is best. The entire experience, heartbreaking.

I'm sure this is not written well and probably doesn't make sense. But neither does life. I wish life didn't end. I wish life didn't end. I wish life didn't end.