Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Steven Philip Gehrke
At lunch, your friend tells you he's having trouble with his lover, and
you say, "I'm sorry," which doesn't seem to help much, because he's
really swimming in it now, so drenched with tears you half expect
the waiter to stop by and sponge him off. So you swipe a few napkins
from their little tin house, lean across the table, and say, "I'm really
really sorry," like you're asking for his forgiveness. Which, after all,
maybe you are, because the scroll of your own sins, when it comes
to love, could stretch from here to the parking lot and back, and part
of you wants to unroll it right now and start listing them off, the way
they do at hangings. But seeing your friend wrecked like this makes
the other part of you feel lousy and really wish for his forgiveness, or
if not his, then the waiter's. At this point, anyone's would do. Because
that's the way the world should work, you think: we should forgive
each other all the time, handshakes cut loose in favor of gestures of
forgiveness, a palm placed upon the forehead of everyone you meet,
their palm on your forehead, leaning there against each other, a few
small words of absolution, little Post-it notes Don't be so hard on
yourself stuck to your computer at work, even just a quick sign of
the cross from your boss on his way to a coffee break, so that you can
forgive him when he comes back, for surely he'll have sinned in those
few minutes, and so will you, on of those small malices: slamming
your desk drawer because the work never stops, a curse just beneath
your breat, the misdemeanors we all commit, because eventually
even the good must sin, if for no other reason than to experience the
joy forgiveness brings. And why not give that joy to each other all the
time? Though maybe we already do this, because what else would you
call, except gestures of forgiveness, a hand extending toward a mislaid
hair, the man nodding your through the tollbooth when you forget
your change? Or something subtler than that: the quick glance in the
hallway that says, "Here we both are, and that's OK," with the two minds
processing and judging, judging and releasing, both knowing so much
about the shortcomings of the other, yet arranging an oblivious face,
like the waiter who ignores the napkins, crumpled with tears, your
friend has left piled on his plate.
Steffe lives in Sweden and somehow seems to be surrounded by greenhouses. With the sun setting by 4pm, the greenhouses keep their lights on a while longer, making sure the plants get their needed light therapy.
» See more swedish greenhouses
Monday, November 29, 2004
"Yeah he is. Specially for a kid like me to be listening...."
Today is such a typical after-thanksgiving day. And by that I mean, there's still pumpkin pie to be had.
Few things are as good as pumpkin pie. Which is why I just had a slice.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
movies. saw sideways again. at first i thought the audience was laughing and loving it because it was filmed locally. but after the second time, well, those weren't gratuitous guffaws -- just straightup belly laughter. go see. on saturday i met up with a friend to see neverland which was so much better than i thought it would be. to be honest... i didn't have any expectations really... just thought it would be fun to go and see a movie. but it was really good and quite moving and johnny depp may be the best american actor of our time. if not, i'm sure it's a tie between him and sean penn and robert downey jr. maybe they'll have a fight and we can watch. (and if it does come down to blows, c'mon, you know sean penn would win.).
julie christie was in neverland. she is one of the few famous people i've ever met. and while i'm sure she wouldn't remember me, she left an indellible mark in my memory bank. i met her at a retreat, so was near her for about three days and she was just greatly normal and incredibly nice. the biggest impression was how she really took an interest in the wildlife and pets at the retreat. she is small in stature. quick to smile. just nice and normal and basically someone you would be happy to run into any time.
and so different from her persona in neverland. so i was really blown away by her performance where she loomed large (and looked much older than she does in real life) and was grim and severe. i have a whole new respect for actors. no wonder she has an oscar. she kicked ass all over that screen.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
And do you know that not ONE of the network shows were talking about it. Do you know what they were talking about? TRAVELING.
Traveling and all the people traveling. And hello, it's Thanksgiving and more Americans are traveling and blah blah blah blah... did we mention the traveling?
I was shocked. I still am I guess. To me this choice in reporting represented something that is wrong with our country: pandering to the lowest common denominator. Going for the easy. News as a jello mold.
But Kiev... THIS is the real deal: democracy in nonaction with people demanding something better. Like truth. Like real democracy. THIS is the people speaking up and being heard.
Being heard everywhere except in the "land of the free" where people are way more interested in what's going to happen as they sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic just like they do every year on this day.
For those of you not hitting the highways and the skyways on this, the most traveled traveling day full of travelers, I bring back the Daily Distraction. :)
tasty ear treats
First of all, I want to remind you about Morning Becomes Eclectic on KCRW from 9 to 12, Monday through Friday. You can stream it and it's worth it, 'specially if your music listening's in a rut, like me. (Ooooh and today it's live in house performance of [Jon Spencer's] Blues Explosion... tune in).
» Morning Becomes Eclectic
What Kind of Dog Are You?
Why a personality-test-taking type of course. Actually, it's a little crazy how accurate this test is. It may soon pass the Myers-Briggs as the definitive personality test. Oh and by the way, I'm a Tibetan Spaniel, which is not an actual spaniel, but a non-yappy lap dog that likes to show off when it's not taking naps. Um, I mean, that is brave and wonderful and fabulous and does tricks! Yeah, that's it. And it always gets its taxes done on time. And it never has a second piece of cake or adds extra cream to its coffee.
» Find yer canine equivalent
(the link is in the right-hand nav under GAMES)
I love Donnie Darko
There's a photo on Flickr that makes me laugh every time I see it. So I said so in the comments and favoritized it and got an email back from said owner of the t-shirt with the subject line of "sometimes I doubt..." and an email that read "your commitment to Sparkle Motion." Which made me spit my coffee out all over my monitor cuz it caught me off guard and is probably one of the all time funniest email to read from a stranger. He included a link to the T. I'm pretty excited about getting this shirt for my own.
» Show your commitment
Dolphins are cooler than you and me
For some reason this story is really sticking with me. A group of swimmers were out in the ocean and found themselves surrounded by a posse of dolphin (for from now on, groups of dolphin will be known as a posse of dolphin). When they tried to get out of the ring of dolphin they found themselves being herded back together. The dolphins created a tighter and tighter circumference around the swimmers. Turns out there was a great white shark prowling nearby. The dolphins protected the humans for over 40 minutes -- until the shark swam away. And that pretty much blows my mind and gets me thinking that if I were a better person I'd be a vegetarian again. Instead I will commit to not eating the dolphins. ;)
» We all need a circle of dolphins
Some photos that I've recently loved (from Flickr)
Monday, November 22, 2004
It could happen any time, tornado,
earthquake, Armageddon. It could happen.
Or sunshine, love, salvation.
It could you know. That's why we wake
and look outno guarantees
in this life.
But some bonuses, like morning,
like right now, like noon,
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Sideways. Yesterday KB and I went to see Sideways, the new movie out from the guy who directed Election and About Schmidt. I woulda wanted to see it no matter, but the fact that most of it was filmed just 30 to 60 miles away from us was an added bonus. The crowd cheered at each mention of San Luis Obispo or wineries they knew and loved, familiar sites or any other reference that moved them. At the end everyone clapped. Cuz even though the movie is about two fucked-up middle-aged guys who can't get their acts together to save their lives, it made the Central Coast look beautiful and magical and peaceful and idyllic.... Just like it is. I'm gonna see it again.
» Watch the trailer
» Writer, Rex Pickett interview
» Director, Alexander Payne interview
» LA Times critic Kenneth Turan's review
Old Man Talker. The only problem with the movie and the crowd's exuberance was that there were several people who felt the need to narrate the movie to their spouses. While KB had to struggle with Mr. Kicking Her Chair, I was sitting beside Old Man Talker. And the longer Old Man Talker was watching the movie, the more Old Man Talker forgot he was in a theater with other people who could hear his running commentary.
"What is that?!" asked the man to his wife. "A chocolate? Did he just give him a chocolate?"
"Zssispt psstzt zsispist," his wife whispered back, obviously still in possession of her movie-going manners.
"What?" said Old Man Talker.
"ZSSISPT PSSTZT ZSISPIST!" she said again, this time louder.
"Oh! A condom!" said Old Man Talker.
He also commented on the direction they were driving on the highways (They're heading north!) and forecasted future actions (I think he's going to tell her now!).
Sigh. Oh, Old Man Talker. I couldn't even be upset with you cuz you were too damn cute with all your movie-talking exhuberance. Just please, don't sit by me again and try to share the arm rests next time. Deal?
Softies. KB and I are living squarely in girlieville and we can prove it by participating in Loobylu's A Month of Softies online community project. Yesterday we each bought super soft flannel and then hand-made the pattern and began to cut out our peices. And oh, yes, the results shall be posted and you all can roll your eyes and say "damn those girls are such CHICKS" and we'll smile and nod and say that you're right.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Shopping centre Santa
Originally uploaded by vanillasky.
Okay. Oh. Man.
I found this one in the Flickr "Creepy Christmas" group. But what is totally FREAKING ME OUT are Santa's inner thighs. Now there's a group of words I thought I'd never say "santa's inner thighs." Ack!
Wrong wrong wrong on so many counts. And yet -- yet -- I choose to post this on my blog.
I saw someone leave a comment last week that said "I'm already sick of Christmas." Heh. After seeing this picture I'm sick and frightened.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "To the mind that is still," said the ancient
Chinese sage Lao Tzu, "the whole universe surrenders." This is true all the
time, of course, but in the coming weeks it will be even more intensely
true for you. According to traditional astrologers, that would be a
problem. They believe that advising Virgos to keep their minds still is like
ordering Niagara Falls to stop splashing 600,000 gallons of water per
second over its precipice. But here's my nontraditional perspective: It
may be harder for you Virgos to quiet your mind, but if and when you
actually accomplish it, the universe surrenders more completely to you
than to any other sign. (P.S. On March 29, 1848, an ice jam stopped the
flow of water over Niagara Falls for several hours.)
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
I found Big Al Davies in the simplist of ways. I was on Flickr, looking to be entertained, and one of his pics showed up as "recently uploaded" on the Flickr home page.
It was a simple picture. Unassuming. And yet, emotionally, it drew me right in. Providing instant ambience and prestory and afterstory and just... I dunno. I just liked it. So I cruised Big Al's photostream and found that a lot of the photos were like that. I prolly favoritized a handful right off the bat.
At Big Al's you'll find awesome nostalgia shots of his punk days in the early 80s (think peg-legged pants will ever come back in? these boys tucked 'em in their boots), pastoral shots like the this photo of the sheep, and glimpses of small-town Welsh living, Welsh vacationing, Welsh hanging out and Welsh showing off. On top of it all, Big Al's style is clever and unassuming. Sweet but with an edge. (Uh oh, am I evangelizing again?)
My money's on it that he's a bit of a local hero himself. I bet that more than a couple people know his name and shout hellos as he walks down the street. I'd shout hello too, if he were in my town.
» Big Al Davies photostream
Monday, November 15, 2004
Regardless of what you think about their music (I saw a note today that said " I cannot decide if Smoosh is the best or worst band ever") there is a lot to admire and make you smile with Smoosh. Hello little girls who have these kinds of instincts and this level of fearlessness? A 10- and 12-year-old opening for Pearl Jam and Death Cab? What is not to admire? Plus it made me pull out an old Princess Superstar for at-my-desk chair dancing for the rest of the evening. Seriously though: More power to the Smoosh.
» Listen to the Smoosh interview/songs
» P. S-star and the wedding DJ (I'm still impressed)
If they get you asking the wrong questions the answers don't matter.
Sounds like the strategy of the Republican party.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
mom: I just read your blog. Is everything okay? Are you alright? I know how much the internet means to you.
I'd like to tell you that she was teasing when she said that....
It's not you; it's me.
You are really nice, Internet. I've enjoyed the time we've had together. You've shown me things and taken me places I never even dreamed of before. Sheesh. Remember "All your base"? Remember the dancing baby? God, those were good times Internet. You are funny and really interesting -- you are always changing things up and always have some new thing to tell me or show me or share with me.... I love that about you.
But, I need more time to myself. Don't get me wrong: you should have someone who wants to spend all their time with you. You deserve to get what you need. But it just seems like we need two different things: you need constant attention and I need a life.
I'd still like to be friends and hang out and stuff. Let me know if you'd be up for that. If that's not enough for you, I totally understand.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Do you think "meow" is just short for "let me out"? (Let)Me ou(t). (Let) Me ou(t).
I'm right aren't I?
- - - -
Tonight is Bret's big birthday bash a la Country Gentlemen. Jist: show up wearing pink and rarin' to go. There'll be poker, cocktails, music and the spirit of Alex Madonna himself.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
The beauty is that there is a whole "Jumping" group on Flickr. People all around the world are jumping.
Here's an even better thought... next time you are feeling overly serious about your life or your surroundings or things are getting you down.... jump. My hunch is that fighting gravity brings levity.
» Look at them jumpers
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Hey Red State guys, need to rekindle that feeling of all-powerfulness you briefly had last Wednesday morning? Craving a little sweet bluffing in your ear? Tired of being teased by all those liberal hotties who don't understand your firm grip on political "reality"? These girls are here to help.
Monday, November 08, 2004
But tonight she was rolling through SLO Town and I was lucky enough to be home when she called. Not enough can be said about Meliss -- beloved drummer to many a SLO Town band, kind kind kind, and she has the best laugh this side of the Mississippi. The Melississippi.
And the dinner was good, too. Thanks Yard Sale Dan!
thought one. thank god for dan who feeds me dinner. tonight it is pork tenderloin. i love him.
thought two. yesterday my mom and i drove out to cambria. on the way home (such a beautiful drive) we talked about people... how some people are so open and some people so prickly. maybe people with "thick shells" have little backbone. they don't have the courage to be themselves... or are afraid of ... something. so they have hard edges or protective armor. i'm a leetle bit that way. (what? some of you are thinking "leetle" with raised eyebrows?) so my theory is: to be wide open = strong spine. but without the strong spine, tough shell. (you gotta have something to keep you up).
i'm sure i could have thought that out better.
thought three. canadians pledging to marry americans are the new world heros.
thought four: lost frog. ohmigod i love this.
thought five: am i sick of pussyfooting around what i really want to do? when will i stop the bs and just do it?
thought six: rut-row, that was a toe back in the angsty river once again. out toe! stay out of the angsty river.
thought seven: however, if you know the answer to thought five, would you mind dropping me a line? shanks.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Originally uploaded by g e o f f.
On other news fronts... I'm such an early adopter who never fully adopts. I'm like the early adopters who brought the baby home but forgot to sign the papers. Case in point: RSS feeds. How come I didn't do this before? I'll be adding feed options later, but for now, it's in the bottom right hand nav, right under the poems.
Speekina poems, this photo is a poem. I'm telling you people: I can't get enough of it.
What if photos were like favorite songs and you could play them over and over and over and over....
"I dunno," I told her, "but GK said they were a young couple."
"Meh," said Kristin. "I want a nice, old man."
"Me too," I said.
Our neighbor Jim moved away last week. He was great. He liked to pretend he was cantankerous and hated cats, but he was super quick with a smile and when he didn't realize we were looking, we could see he'd keep the backdoor open so the cats could meander in and hang out in his livingroom.
He lives in Bend now. That makes three people I know who've moved to Bend in the last 12 months. It must be great there.
And speekina Oregon, I once again wrapped my ears with the Graves Yes Yes Okay Okay. S'funny, cuz (as I've mentioned a million times before) I loved Love Love Love. So much so that I bought YYOKOK three months ago. Listened partway once and could not bring myself to listen again. I didn't want to bear the heartbreak of disappointment.... But since yesterday it's been all Graves all the time and I am once again singing the Olin praises.
I just decided that this is going to be a Lyle Lovett morning. God damn but I love Lyle Lovett. I was never a Julia Roberts fan... that is until she married Lyle. And while I didn't think she deserved him then, I thought, well, Julia can't be all bad.
The first time I ever saw Lyle was on the Today show back in 1989. I can tell you that because he really made an impression and I remember telling the guy I was seeing at the time all about him. He nodded in agreement, but I now know he nodded in agreement about a lot of things and prolly didn't have a whole lot going on upstairs.
A few months later I was seeing someone else. God I liked this guy. And it was all that beginning butterfly-gaaah feeling when you can't keep your hands or your eyes off of each other. We had tickets to see Rickie Lee Jones and Lyle was opening. We had dinner beforehand and were so butterfly-gaaah that it took all of our collective energy to peel ourselves away and get to the show. We caught Lyle's last two songs and encore.
And while that guy and I eventually broke up, my love for Lyle continued.
- - - - -
Thursday I posted a photo to Flickr and 24 hours later it had gotten 1000 hits. As of this writing it's gotten over 1600. I don't know how it happened, all those hits. Did the link get forwarded in an email? Did someone post it on their blog? I don't know. I did have to delete a comment from someone who didn't seem to be a real flickr member -- he smelled suspicious. I sent him the following email:
I just deleted your comment because I couldn't tell if you are an actual Flickr member or a troll.He didn't write or respond back, he's got no photos up or information about himself and no contacts, so I'm guessing he lives under some bridge harrassing unsuspecting billygoats.
If you are an actual, participating Flickr member I apologize. I'm all for people expressing their opinions, but would like to minimize harrassment or trolling from people who might just sign on to be vocal.
- - - - -
Since the election two of my friends have started up blogs of their own. One I know was in response to 11/2 (How funny if the election had happened on November 9th and then we disenfranchisedistas could refer to it as 11/9) (Hold your horses anyone wanting to flame me about that -- I know the two aren't comparable. Lighten up.). The other... I'm not sure what spurred her on but already just two posts into it and it is fluid and rolling.
- - - - -
Yesterday I bathed myself in Yes Yes Okay Okay by Graves frontman Greg Olin. What I love about this CD (and the last, Love Love Love) it's like Olin is whisper-singing the lyrics right into your ear. He's lovely and his lyrics are delicious. Yesterday's favorite = We'll lie down with virgins and make incredible conversions / We'll lie down on our backs / do all the math and we'll have / strength in numbers. Listen here.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Do not let the fact that things are not made for you, that conditions are not as they should be, stop you. Go on anyway. Everything depends on those who go on anyway. Robert Henri
Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. Mignon McLaughlin
We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. Kenneth Clark
Well, while I'm here I'll do the work and what's the work? To ease the pain of living. Everything else, drunken dumbshow. Allen Ginsberg
Henceforth I ask not good fortune, I myself am good fortune. Walt Whitman
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
When you are down, stand tall
You know, it's funny. I listened to John Edwards give his speech this morning, before introducing John Kerry and for the first time in almost 24 hours I felt a glimmer of hope. Tears were still running down my cheeks, but I felt some sort of relief that somebody was still going to stand up and fight for something good in this country.
I listened to John Kerry's concession speech and wiped the tears from my eyes and thought, okay. I can be this bigger person. I can take my own small step towards national unity for my country. I admired his grace and eloquence at a time that must have been very difficult for him.
And I began to have faith again.
Then I listened to President Bush's acceptance speech and heard THE SAME OLD BULLSHIT. Cheney, I'm sorry, but you are a smirky, weasel-eyed evil-plotter. And Bush he gave his opposition vote -- what? -- two sentences?! It was like an obligatory mention just so he could claim to want to unify the country.
Whatever dude. You know what? I was really disappointed in 2000 but I tried my hardest to get behind this president. I tried my hardest to see both sides. I tried my hardest to believe that obviously these people were seeing options and solutions in places that I could just not see it -- but that surely somewhere there was a grain of decency and smartness... surely there was a solution I couldn't see but they could.
I did my best four years ago to bridge the gap.
And I feel like my effort was trampled on by this administration. They were cocksure. They were smug. They were unapologetic. They were hasty. They were risky. They made miscalculated decisions based on manipulated information. They lied to our faces. And they smiled all the while.
So this year it is different. I am not so willing. I am not so pliable. I am not going to apologize for my viewpoint. I am not going to squint my eyes when I cannot see these so called solutions that are not in plain sight.
I'm going to hold this administration accountable to every last syllable. I will not go quietly.
Today I am standing tall and proud to be a Liberal and a Democrat in this United States of America. And I'm going to be none too quiet to tell you about it.
I love Mark Morford, part VII
"It simply boggles the mind: we've already had four years of some of the most appalling and abusive foreign and domestic policy in American history, some of the most well-documented atrocities ever wrought on the American populace and it's all combined with the biggest and most violently botched and grossly mismanaged war since Vietnam, and much of the nation still insists in living in a giant vat of utter blind faith, still insists on believing the man in the White House couldn't possibly be treating them like a dog treats a fire hydrant.
"Inexplicable? Not really. People want to believe. They want to trust their leaders, even against all screaming, neon-lit evidence and stack upon stack of flagrant, impeachment-grade lie. They simply cannot allow that Dubya might really be an utter boob and that they are being treated like an abused, beaten housewife who keeps coming back for more, insisting her drunk husband didn't mean it, that she probably had it coming, that the cuts and bruises and blood and broken bones are all for her own good.
"And this election, it might be all be very amusing, in a Mel Gibson-y, blood-drenched hamburger-of-Christ sorta way, were it not so sad and dangerous. It might all be tolerable and cute, in a violence-engorged, sexist, video-game-y sorta way, were it not so lopsided and wrong.
"This election's outcome, this heartbreaking proof of a nation split more deeply and decisively than ever, it simply reinforces the feeling among much of the educated populace: It is a weirdly embarrassing time to be an American. It is jarring and oddly shattering and makes you rethink what it really means to be a part of this country. The answer: It doesn't mean much at all. Not really. Not anymore."
from Mark Morford's column
as uploaded by inoneear on flickr
Me to daveworld: I'm ready for my state to secede with Oregon and Washington. We'll call ourselves the United States of Bitchen. We'll have all the cool culture and all the money. We'll have the coastline. We'll let two people who love each other with all their hearts to marry. We'll cure people with advancements from stem cell research. We'll build allies with other nations and earn the respect of the world. We will respect others' religions and viewpoints but not feel the need to mandate values and personal decisions. We'll have a balanced budget and our politicians will not expose CIA agents and we will not tear the limbs off of innocent children with errant bombs.
Calvo to me: I'd apply for citizenship to the United States of Bitchen. You'd go off to other countries to search for Weapons of Like, OMG!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
America the Dutiful
My heart is beginning to swell. Even though I don't know how things are going to turn out, one thing is for sure: America is turning out to have its voice be heard.
I read about the Newsday columnist who said, "When published reports showed a million new voter registrations in Florida and about 800,000 in Ohio, I made the election a lock. They were not rushing out for George Bush."
And Andrew Sullivan has been stating he's voting for Kerry. For someone like Sullivan to say this... wow. I heart you Andrew Sullivan. May he marry whomever he pleases.
Finally, from the above mentioned AS I got to this link: What to watch for on election night.
What are you doing tonight? A bunch of us are gathering at KB's for dinner and to either cry in our beer or toast our fellow countrymen.
» Newsday columnist says pollsters are clueless
» What to watch for on election day
» Andrew Sullivan
» Vote images from Flickr
Man, it felt good voting today. It felt completely satisfying circling in that little bubble for the next president. While I have no idea who is going to win (and for that matter, am very frustrated with all the air time polls are getting), I feel good voting for who I truly believe in. And even better not voting for someone I don't believe in one iota.
Afterwards KB and I meandered down to Linnaea's and who was there but that very handsome mystery guy I see nearly every dog damn day all over the place. Introductions finally happened so now I can say hi when I run into him.
On my way to work this morning it was old Soul Coughing. Sigh -- I could create a web shrine for all my favorite bands that are no longer together and Soul Coughing would be very high up on the list. I turned it up loud and cardanced (or at least head bopped) most of the way down the Valley Road.
And it is gorgeous. A season change (more of one) should hit any day now. Bye bye sunshine and shorts. (Heh. Hello sweaters and socks. I know it's not that bad.).
bill: how's the national erection going?
emdot: so far the polls are high.