"Among the Reasons God May Temporarily Be Unavailable to Bless America": (1) because God has had it up to here with the assumption that prayers for national exemption from pain and tragedy deserve an answer; (2) because God is too busy processing Americans' prayers for their highschool football teams; (3) because God takes for granted that the bombs falling on Kabul are America's real prayers; (4) because such a tasteless and lurid efflorescence of red, white, and blue (including flags wrapped around church steeples) gives God a massive headache.
— Rev. Peter Laarman
taken from The Sun Magazine's February Sunbeams page
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