and for this religious season...

TAOISM: Shit happens
CONFUSIANISM: Confucius say: "Shit happens."
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it is not really shit.
ZEN-BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?
HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to me?