Monday, July 11, 2005

So tonight was kinda interesting



Originally uploaded by emdot.
So tonight was kinda interesting

I kinda got dumped.

Not exactly. No. Not quite. But things were made clear. In that round about sorta hazy way. So, in other words, totally clear. Cut and dry. I got called "buddy" twice and, c'mon, I speak enough of the male language to understand what that means. (That wasn't the whole of it, just two pieces of evidence).

And even while the whole conversation was happening and I could feel my face sinking into the carpet and my stomach was trying to decide to stay put or to launch itself in a projectory way, I knew it was for the better.

It's better to know up front, right?

I drove home (20 minute drive) sad and mad and indignant and both relishing my instincts (which repeatedly told me it was not a go) to being sad that my hunches were right on. Too confused to cry or yell and too emotional to go numb.

I turned into my driveway to find three of my dearests friends in the front yard and was blown away by the relief — utmost relief — I felt at even just seeing them.

The second or third thing out of my mouth was "I need a drink." So, we got out some crackers, sliced up some cheese, slid a mini goat cheese pizza into the oven and headed for the back porch, bottle of Shiraz in hand. And these three treasured souls listened to me trying to make heads or tails out of the evening's happenings.

I went from confused and sad to kind of ... how to say... well, at the least, fine with it and feeling rich in friendship. Make that a capital R. A capital F. Rich in Friendship.

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