Saturday, April 12, 2003

hope/no hope

last week i mentioned to macker that one of the differences between christians and buddhists is hope. where christians embrace hope, buddhists (at least in my lineage) see hope as something that separates you from the present moment, and something that might encourage samsara (suffering) because your happiness is based on some hopeful thing in the future.

i was thinking about god... if there is a god... and what the purpose of creating a life might be. and what i'm thinking is that life is this great gift. and all we can really do is just... make the most of this gift. and what is life except one moment after the other. so how do you make the most of life, but to actually experience these moments.

and not experiencing them is something that we are all guilty of every day. not "guilty-guilty"... but life just gets away from us, doesn't it?

and then i thought, here god gives us this juicy life and from a christian point of view, all the money is in the bank for heaven. and i have no idea about if there is a heaven or if there is no heaven. i don't know. and maybe this is short-sighted of me (heh. story of my life), but i'm not really that worried about heaven... i'm more concerned about actually experiencing these moments right now.

and in reality can't any experience be heaven/hell? so in a way you can create your own heaven in your life right now in this moment.

and how do you do that except by embracing this very moment. whether you are happy or sad or angry or in pain or being hurt by someone else or hurting someone else. being in the moment and actually being alive/awake/aware of this moment -- isn't that opening up to your life and creating a bit of heaven on earth?

anyway, back to hope and fear.

i think the big difference is that christians feel they will never be enough and are constantly striving striving striving to be better. to not sin. burdened with guilt or puffed up by arrogance about being such a great person.

where as buddhists (my brand, anyway) are more about just making friends with who you actually are. looking at the messy stuff, the embarrassing stuff, the angry stuff, the jealous stuff, the beautiful stuff, the sweetsmelling stuff and just embracing the whole thing. loving the neurosis. loving the sanity. but not really getting "attached" to either.

and i think that might be a form of heaven on earth.

and for people who believe in god, what better way to celebrate the gift of life; what better way to show your thankfulness, your gratitude, then just embracing all of it, and then getting on with what needs to be done (blowing your nose, cleaning your windows, making your children breakfast, paying a car fine, etc).

so anyway... hope/no hope... this is how i would explain it. hope is living in the future. no hope is embracing what you've got.

m.

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