Monday, May 07, 2007

I woke up this morning and there was a strange guy in our apartment

I was the first to get up and I sleepily went straight to the kitchen to make coffee as I was so tired last night that I'd forgotten to make it before going to bed. And, I was quick to find out, I also must have been too tired to lock the front door as well.

Because there was someone sleeping on our couch. A rather large (tallish, stocky-ish) overgrown fratboy-looking mid-30s guy. Clean cut. Blue tshirt. And we didn't know who he was or what he was doing there. I ran back into the bedroom and said to Steve who was still sleeping,

"there is someone sleeping on our couch. some strange guy is sleeping in our living room."

I go back into the living room and kind of stand over the stranger for a second then poke his shoulder and he opens a sleepy eye.

"Who are you?" I demand.

"I'm Rich!" he says, like I should be happy about it.

"But who are you?"

"I'm Rich!"

"What are you doing in my apartment?"

"Your apartment?......."

I grill the strange, overgrown clean-cut blue-tshirt wearing Rich because I can't understand what he is doing here and he's acting like he was invited. He was there with friends, "What friends? Which friends? Who are they? What are there names?" it slowly dawned on him that he did not belong where he was.

"You have to leave. Now."


There's a big part of me that thinks I should have been frightened. But in all honesty? I haven't stopped laughing. Okay, nervous laughter. But it was so strange and weird and obviously not dangerous from the beginning but still very off-putting and creepy.

After he left (immediately -- and there's a part of me that thinks he would have just turned back over and kept sleeping if I had not kicked him out and pronto) we went into the hall of our apartment building where there is a small row of antique school chairs. Super old and connected together and toppled over with a pair of black flip flops underneath them. Obviously Rich's.

I can only imagine that this guy got so inebriated last night that he must have come over to our building in a blacked-out state. Tried to sleep on the antique school chairs. Toppled them over. Tried all the apartment doors. Ours was the only one unlocked. Etc. OR his friends played a horrible trick on him. But I really think it is the first.

AND I really hope he finds his way to AA this week. I hope this really scared him. That he could do this. That he was that drunk.

Get help Rich. Get help.


Kristin said...

Maybe Chapin let him in. This is a CRAZY story!!

emdot said...

meh!!!! the more time that goes by the less funny it is and the more scary/creepy it was. so weird!

steve said that the first thing i said to him was "there's a stranger sleeping on the couch" and in his sleepy-groggy state he thought i meant a strange kitty or cat.

ha! ;)

Stefan Jansson said...

Many years ago I was partying with my best friends in an apartment in Västerhaninge, before we walked over to a nearby pub. Then came a blackout. The next thing I remember I'm sitting on the floor in someones home trying to get my shoes on. The couple who lives there are trying to help me. Later I walk over to my friends place. It's four in the morning, and the first thing my friend asks me is, where are your shoe? Till this day I have no idea what happened during those hours. Whenever I visited this area for the next few years I always looked one more time to see if someone recognized me.

Eli Edmundson said...

Funny and sad, great blog entry, I'll be back to see more photos!