creepy coyotes

first of all, how do you spell coyote? shouldn't there be an a in there somewhere?

the creepiest thing about being back in cali and in the comfycozy plush-covered comforts of my father's home are the friggin' coyotes. i live in a town of 45,000 with farmland everyfuckingwhere and wild animals and no traffic and few housing tracts and i tell you i never hear the freakycreepy chill-you-to-the-bone yelps and choirs of the coyote. i drive four hours south into the heart of suburban hell, into a city of over 100,000 that is surrounded by countless other suburban hells of 100,000 and what do i hear? the freakycreepy chill-you-to-the-bone yelps and choirs of the coyote.

it must be the shopping. oh damn. no. no. i know what it is. werecayotes! you've heard of werewolves. they are so two centuries ago. today's werecayotes are nordies-shopping by day in their cute capris, driving their cute behemoth su-mega-vs, waving their cute platinum-foiled amex cards... and then by night they are ripping the heads off of family kitties that forgot to come in for the evening, howling in fifteen-part semi-harmony.

i swear to god they are going to make all the hair on my neck stand up on end permanently.

i knew i shoulda paid more attention in philosophy....

so, do you think you are more like plato or aristotle? descartes or sartre? does this question keep you up at night, tossing and turning? this just in: online ethics test now available. i wish i knew more about these philosophers to know if i am embarrassing myself by publishing my results....

1.  Spinoza   (100%)
2.  Kant   (98%)
3.  Jean-Paul Sartre   (82%) 
4.  Nietzsche   (80%) 
5.  Aquinas   (79%) 
6.  Stoics   (79%)
19.  Plato   (29%) 

» git yer ethics on