My big smile of the day.
I found this photo via Heather Champ (the wonderful and the inspirational) (I especially liked her fuck off 2004 goodbye letter). From this photo I found the blog. From the blog I found the soundtrack. From the album I found this song and it really made me happy.
My pledge: next November I'm doing NaSoAlMo, too.
Hot damn that song got me all fired up.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
The New Servers have arrived!
the evening chuckle
This photo is titled "The New Servers have arrived!" The description says "Can't wait to bring them down to the colo."
:)
This photo is titled "The New Servers have arrived!" The description says "Can't wait to bring them down to the colo."
:)
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Main Shrine Room KCL
Oh the things you find on Flickr!
This is the place where I took my Buddhist Refuge Vow. I loved it here.
This is the place where I took my Buddhist Refuge Vow. I loved it here.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Heimdahl
jag lär mig svenska
I've decided to try to teach myself Swedish. I type this with one eye squinted shut, because trying to teach yourself a language is tough enough on its own. Trying to teach yourself a language that you never hear... now that's a challenge.
But I've got some help on my side. Sweet and terrific Swedish friends on Flickr. A package from Sweden that included Swedish being read aloud, a Swedish language CD, and some bands singing in Swedish (tack så mycket, Anders). And Swedish language tapes with books from my mom.
With all that you might think that learning it wouldn't be so tough. And you would be right if I wasn't talking about Swedish. Their grammar? Wacky. Their sounds? Wackier. Their vowels? Their vowels spilleth over. Vowels everywhere. They are vowel crazy. And these are vowels, believe me, that you have never heard before. Unless, of course, you live in Sweden.
I've decided to try to teach myself Swedish. I type this with one eye squinted shut, because trying to teach yourself a language is tough enough on its own. Trying to teach yourself a language that you never hear... now that's a challenge.
But I've got some help on my side. Sweet and terrific Swedish friends on Flickr. A package from Sweden that included Swedish being read aloud, a Swedish language CD, and some bands singing in Swedish (tack så mycket, Anders). And Swedish language tapes with books from my mom.
With all that you might think that learning it wouldn't be so tough. And you would be right if I wasn't talking about Swedish. Their grammar? Wacky. Their sounds? Wackier. Their vowels? Their vowels spilleth over. Vowels everywhere. They are vowel crazy. And these are vowels, believe me, that you have never heard before. Unless, of course, you live in Sweden.
Stolen youths
first hand reports
The SE Asia earthquake and tsunami coverage in the US has been frustrating (as is ALL US coverage in things that are happening in other countries; why can't I get BBC news?!). Finally blogs are stepping in to give first-hand reports. Yesterday morning when I first heard the news, I immediately got on Flickr. One of my contacts, JavaJive — aka Brandon — lives in Indonesia and has been posting incredible photos of South East Asia. I knew I could get to his blog via his flickr profile, and there was a post already up. He was in Jakarta, so was safe, but has friends on a diving trip in Phuket. I can't imagine the worry. (And Jan Setser: wherever you are in Burma/Myanmar... all my prayers are with you). I don't know where Jan is... close to the beach? Higher ground? I just don't know. I'm not going to worry... no need as it is very likely she is on higher ground. But still.
Meanwhile, here are a list of blogs that are describing their experiences.
» Javajive
» World Changing (contributors from India)
» ChiensSansFrontiers (group blog effort)
» Tsunami Help (group blog effort)
» 2Bangkok.com (Thai)
» more links from boing boing
The SE Asia earthquake and tsunami coverage in the US has been frustrating (as is ALL US coverage in things that are happening in other countries; why can't I get BBC news?!). Finally blogs are stepping in to give first-hand reports. Yesterday morning when I first heard the news, I immediately got on Flickr. One of my contacts, JavaJive — aka Brandon — lives in Indonesia and has been posting incredible photos of South East Asia. I knew I could get to his blog via his flickr profile, and there was a post already up. He was in Jakarta, so was safe, but has friends on a diving trip in Phuket. I can't imagine the worry. (And Jan Setser: wherever you are in Burma/Myanmar... all my prayers are with you). I don't know where Jan is... close to the beach? Higher ground? I just don't know. I'm not going to worry... no need as it is very likely she is on higher ground. But still.
Meanwhile, here are a list of blogs that are describing their experiences.
» Javajive
» World Changing (contributors from India)
» ChiensSansFrontiers (group blog effort)
» Tsunami Help (group blog effort)
» 2Bangkok.com (Thai)
» more links from boing boing
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Joop's Dog Log - Christmas Day December 25
merry christmas everybody!
I blog the pic to the right because number one, I love the festiveness of it and number two, it features JOOP! One of my favorite Flickr dogs. Joop is a star and never fails to bring a smile to my face. I dig Joop. And his owners (who I believe maybe live in Germany? Holland? I forget!) are full of adventurous outdoor photos. They seemed to have travelled many different places. May this photo put a little smile on your face.
Time was... man, two years ago I worked all by myself -- for nine hours! -- at WA on Christmas Day because the person who was supposed to QA about 40 pages of web catalog did a terrible job. Terrible! And the work had to be done. And there was no one else to do it. So, I had to come in and do the work all by myself and you know, there were more than a few tears shed that day.
I remember the day before, on Christmas Eve, I think I worked until 8:00 that night. Again -- we were short many hands and there was one set of hands that was especially incompetant and so I had to double and triple check everything and redo things myself and everyone was so overworked by that point I didn't feel like I could ask anyone else to come in and do the work, or stay late and do the work. So Martyr Marya, I did it myself.
I remember Mary G. coming to my desk that Christmas Eve with a CD of Christmas songs and she offered it to me as a little present and I could barely thank her with little tears streaming down my cheeks. I was so frustrated. So sad. So pissed. So -- helpless. It was all on my shoulders and I didn't know what I was going to do.
So I worked. And believe me when I tell you: I could not see the light at the end of that tunnel. It was dark. It was bleak. It was black.
A year later I would have one of the most relaxing Christmasses of my life. Who knew?!
And a year after that -- this Christmas -- life feels scary because it is looming, juicy, brimming, expanding with so much opportunity. Will I be brave enough to reach for it or will I be bowled over by the unknowingness of it all? I hope I am brave enough! Right now I feel ready.
I hope this Christmas finds you happy, too. And brimming with newness. And if not newness, how about some deep relaxation? Some heavy sighs of happiness? A full belly? Maybe just whatever it is that your heart is calling for.
I blog the pic to the right because number one, I love the festiveness of it and number two, it features JOOP! One of my favorite Flickr dogs. Joop is a star and never fails to bring a smile to my face. I dig Joop. And his owners (who I believe maybe live in Germany? Holland? I forget!) are full of adventurous outdoor photos. They seemed to have travelled many different places. May this photo put a little smile on your face.
Time was... man, two years ago I worked all by myself -- for nine hours! -- at WA on Christmas Day because the person who was supposed to QA about 40 pages of web catalog did a terrible job. Terrible! And the work had to be done. And there was no one else to do it. So, I had to come in and do the work all by myself and you know, there were more than a few tears shed that day.
I remember the day before, on Christmas Eve, I think I worked until 8:00 that night. Again -- we were short many hands and there was one set of hands that was especially incompetant and so I had to double and triple check everything and redo things myself and everyone was so overworked by that point I didn't feel like I could ask anyone else to come in and do the work, or stay late and do the work. So Martyr Marya, I did it myself.
I remember Mary G. coming to my desk that Christmas Eve with a CD of Christmas songs and she offered it to me as a little present and I could barely thank her with little tears streaming down my cheeks. I was so frustrated. So sad. So pissed. So -- helpless. It was all on my shoulders and I didn't know what I was going to do.
So I worked. And believe me when I tell you: I could not see the light at the end of that tunnel. It was dark. It was bleak. It was black.
A year later I would have one of the most relaxing Christmasses of my life. Who knew?!
And a year after that -- this Christmas -- life feels scary because it is looming, juicy, brimming, expanding with so much opportunity. Will I be brave enough to reach for it or will I be bowled over by the unknowingness of it all? I hope I am brave enough! Right now I feel ready.
I hope this Christmas finds you happy, too. And brimming with newness. And if not newness, how about some deep relaxation? Some heavy sighs of happiness? A full belly? Maybe just whatever it is that your heart is calling for.
Friday, December 24, 2004
random ramblings
number one, i think the key to christmas happiness is to scale your christmas shopping way back. imagine in your head buying fewer and smaller gifts. now, imagine even fewer and smaller. i swear to you: it actually makes christmas more meaningful. for me. :) i hate christmas stress and excess. it's amazing how scaling it back can let the specialness of the season shine more brightly.
number two, i can't remember the last time i was so excited for a new year. new beginning. new start. fresh. freshness. start again. in the first time in forever i actually have a formidable list of resolutions -- which aren't resolutions so much as flat out goals and steps towards those ever elusive hopes and dreams. really looking forward to this.
number three, rooibus yum yum. oh whoops. already mentioned that the other day.
number four, amy march! and it's still cracking me up.
number five, which is fem in swedish and my lucky number in no matter what language, tomorrow should be an unbelievably gorgeous day. since my sister and her husband will be in the valley until the afternoon, my mom and i are going for a looooong hike in montana de oro first thing in the morning. this has become something of a christmas tradition with us and i love it.
number one, i think the key to christmas happiness is to scale your christmas shopping way back. imagine in your head buying fewer and smaller gifts. now, imagine even fewer and smaller. i swear to you: it actually makes christmas more meaningful. for me. :) i hate christmas stress and excess. it's amazing how scaling it back can let the specialness of the season shine more brightly.
number two, i can't remember the last time i was so excited for a new year. new beginning. new start. fresh. freshness. start again. in the first time in forever i actually have a formidable list of resolutions -- which aren't resolutions so much as flat out goals and steps towards those ever elusive hopes and dreams. really looking forward to this.
number three, rooibus yum yum. oh whoops. already mentioned that the other day.
number four, amy march! and it's still cracking me up.
number five, which is fem in swedish and my lucky number in no matter what language, tomorrow should be an unbelievably gorgeous day. since my sister and her husband will be in the valley until the afternoon, my mom and i are going for a looooong hike in montana de oro first thing in the morning. this has become something of a christmas tradition with us and i love it.
a funny little conversation
My mom and I did a little last-minute Christmas shopping today. And now I don't even remember how it came out but my mom, flabberghasted with me for some reason or another -- but not real flabberghast, more like... adoringly annoyed -- tells me: do you know who you are like? You are just like Amy March!
(For those of you who don't know, Amy March was the youngest sister in the book Little Women... often seen as the more selfish or self-centered of the March sisters... but very loveable and sweet.)
And I loved the comparison. Because I have long thought that I identified a little too closely with Amy March. To be honest... I'm not Amy March because I can't do the whole "proper" thing (that is where I am more like Jo).... But I long admired Amy because she was the one who got to be the artist, got to travel, got to see the world, and got the guy in the end. It was only Jo's stupid stubbornness that kept her from realizing her dreams. Amy wasn't stubborn at all (and neither am I) and was more able to see the ways of the world, and working those in order to get her dreams fulfilled.
Maybe we should all be more like Amy March.
running into daves
Tuesday afternoon I was walking to Big Sky with KB when I saw a guy in front of us and I thought for sure it was Dave D. I haven't seen Dave D. in well over a year and hadn't thought of him in a bit (though always have nice thoughts -- Dave is one of the coolest bosses I've ever had). As the guy got closer I could see it wasn't Dave.
THEN... just ten minutes later I did indeed run into Dave D. at Big Sky. Weird, right?
Today, running errands with my mom another Dave popped into my head: Dave B. And I thought of him and his girlfriend and how great it was to hang out with them last summer and that I should definitely give them a call very soon to do something -- hadn't heard from him or seen him since last August.
Mom and I run into the store to get something and who is there but Dave B. !! How weird is that?
I'm sure I should think these posts out more before I post them, but I got an itchy trigger/publish finger.
My mom and I did a little last-minute Christmas shopping today. And now I don't even remember how it came out but my mom, flabberghasted with me for some reason or another -- but not real flabberghast, more like... adoringly annoyed -- tells me: do you know who you are like? You are just like Amy March!
(For those of you who don't know, Amy March was the youngest sister in the book Little Women... often seen as the more selfish or self-centered of the March sisters... but very loveable and sweet.)
And I loved the comparison. Because I have long thought that I identified a little too closely with Amy March. To be honest... I'm not Amy March because I can't do the whole "proper" thing (that is where I am more like Jo).... But I long admired Amy because she was the one who got to be the artist, got to travel, got to see the world, and got the guy in the end. It was only Jo's stupid stubbornness that kept her from realizing her dreams. Amy wasn't stubborn at all (and neither am I) and was more able to see the ways of the world, and working those in order to get her dreams fulfilled.
Maybe we should all be more like Amy March.
running into daves
Tuesday afternoon I was walking to Big Sky with KB when I saw a guy in front of us and I thought for sure it was Dave D. I haven't seen Dave D. in well over a year and hadn't thought of him in a bit (though always have nice thoughts -- Dave is one of the coolest bosses I've ever had). As the guy got closer I could see it wasn't Dave.
THEN... just ten minutes later I did indeed run into Dave D. at Big Sky. Weird, right?
Today, running errands with my mom another Dave popped into my head: Dave B. And I thought of him and his girlfriend and how great it was to hang out with them last summer and that I should definitely give them a call very soon to do something -- hadn't heard from him or seen him since last August.
Mom and I run into the store to get something and who is there but Dave B. !! How weird is that?
I'm sure I should think these posts out more before I post them, but I got an itchy trigger/publish finger.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
day in the life: mary and carrie
day in the life...
Today was Day in the Life at Flickr.... Fun to do and fun to see everyone else's pics, too. [See my set here.]
The day was squarely friend-centered. It started with trying to say good-bye to Heather at the train station, but I was late -- late by just a couple of minutes. I got there and then the whistle blew and the train began to chug off.
Me, KB, Mary and Carrie all met up for pre-Christmas lunch at Big Sky. God damn I love those girls! What a great lunch, and just what the doctor ordered. We ran into a coupla other former other dubbers as well (Chris C. and Dave D.). But most fun was just catching up and cracking up about just about everything.
Later in the day I kinda invited myself over to Dan's for dinner and a beer. Slogrl was there too and she was doing a Day in the Life, too, so the two of us were being a bit ridiculous with our cameras (I even took a photo of Dan cutting the steak for the salad... but later realized, um, Mar, you don't need to document every single damn thing today....).
Today was Day in the Life at Flickr.... Fun to do and fun to see everyone else's pics, too. [See my set here.]
The day was squarely friend-centered. It started with trying to say good-bye to Heather at the train station, but I was late -- late by just a couple of minutes. I got there and then the whistle blew and the train began to chug off.
Me, KB, Mary and Carrie all met up for pre-Christmas lunch at Big Sky. God damn I love those girls! What a great lunch, and just what the doctor ordered. We ran into a coupla other former other dubbers as well (Chris C. and Dave D.). But most fun was just catching up and cracking up about just about everything.
Later in the day I kinda invited myself over to Dan's for dinner and a beer. Slogrl was there too and she was doing a Day in the Life, too, so the two of us were being a bit ridiculous with our cameras (I even took a photo of Dan cutting the steak for the salad... but later realized, um, Mar, you don't need to document every single damn thing today....).
Sunday, December 19, 2004
makers manhattan
estab cocktail party
Tonight was the Estab Cocktail party. In typical emdot fashion, I was on the fence about going until 8:45. C'mon. I've got a reputation to uphold and it is one of party ambivilance. BUT. I rallied and of course it was fun. The highlight? No, the two -- no, three! -- highlights?
First off, catching up with Heather. I miss her (she moved to Berkeley). Heather... she's one of a kind, that girl. And catching up with her is always good.
Second off (wait what huh?)was spending the afternoon with Heather-Dan-and-Jen. Just good catch up time for what's been going on over cheeseburgers (how how how was I ever a vegetarian for so LONG?). I'll leave out all the interesting parts here -- just imagine amazingly juicy conversations filled with gutbusting bursts of laughter. I love these people. Jen's like 22 going on whatever age she happens to find herself surrounded by. So this afternoon she was a very entertaining mid-thirties. The girl's timeless, people.
Third off, the one, the only: super duper J. Joyce shows up at the cocktail party. J's one of those people that melts your heart just by knowing him. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm corny, so sue me. But you know it's the truth. And if you don't know that it's simply because you don't know the him. He's fabulous and funny and smart and perfect. He's perfect! I tell his mother every time I see her.
He's promised to be more active on Flickr. JJ -- you promised! And his blog. (You promised super J. Okay.) ;) If he's not, thassokay too cuz life is rockin' for him and when the life rocks you gotta roll with it.
My ears are still ringing from the party. And dear lord, my feet are still ringing too. I had the "these require a cab" high heels on tonight, but I didn't take a cab. I walked. And ouch ouch ouch. It was good to get home.
Friday, December 17, 2004
petri dish 2
lately
petri dish 2
Originally uploaded by ChrisJ.
what i'm really into these days
» rooibus tea, with some milk, all day long
» fresh air and terry gross
» my new year's cards
» finding your own north star by martha beck
» sewing and a month of softies
» learning swedish
» tights and boots
» ballet flats
» ugg boots (say what you will: i love them)
» flickr, flickr, flickr
little thing i really wish i had
» a john waters christmas, christmas cd
movies i can't wait to see
» spanglish
» the life aquatic
» the aviator
» house of flying daggers
» being julia
» lemony snickets
» the machinists (kinda afraid to see it, but i bow at the feet of christian bale, so must see)
» a very long engagement
movies i recently dug
» sideways
» finding neverland (about 10x better than i thought it would be)
» closer
petri dish 2
Originally uploaded by ChrisJ.
what i'm really into these days
» rooibus tea, with some milk, all day long
» fresh air and terry gross
» my new year's cards
» finding your own north star by martha beck
» sewing and a month of softies
» learning swedish
» tights and boots
» ballet flats
» ugg boots (say what you will: i love them)
» flickr, flickr, flickr
little thing i really wish i had
» a john waters christmas, christmas cd
movies i can't wait to see
» spanglish
» the life aquatic
» the aviator
» house of flying daggers
» being julia
» lemony snickets
» the machinists (kinda afraid to see it, but i bow at the feet of christian bale, so must see)
» a very long engagement
movies i recently dug
» sideways
» finding neverland (about 10x better than i thought it would be)
» closer
why most christian rock doesn't
I heard a great quote today in regards to why christian music so often sucks beyond the worst of the worst of the regular rock:
The more blatant the message, the weaker the art.
Well ain't that the truth. But, luckily for the Christians who miss the dear lord Jesus in their Rock and in their Roll, along comes John Davis. Davis used to be the front man of the band Superdrag. But then he got sober, found God and put out a solo album.... and I gotta say, it sounds pretty good. Hooky. Fun. Good lyrics. And you know who (emdot points into the heavens).
» Hear a little bit about it
I heard a great quote today in regards to why christian music so often sucks beyond the worst of the worst of the regular rock:
Well ain't that the truth. But, luckily for the Christians who miss the dear lord Jesus in their Rock and in their Roll, along comes John Davis. Davis used to be the front man of the band Superdrag. But then he got sober, found God and put out a solo album.... and I gotta say, it sounds pretty good. Hooky. Fun. Good lyrics. And you know who (emdot points into the heavens).
» Hear a little bit about it
IMG_0330
seek first to understand, then to be understood
In the wake that was the bloodbath of the Democratic Party on November 2, 2004, I somehow feel more empowered as a Liberal than ever before.
My friends all respond in their own ways... one is quite politically active and setting up protests; another has been inspired to start a blog; quite a few send out email alerts about the conservative party; and the rest all started to drink prolifically to numb the pain.
Me? I feel for myself, before I do any protesting or create any real "action," it's time for me personally to truly try to understand where the conservatives are coming from. Look -- I put money on it that these people aren't the antichrist posing in christian bodies (much as I would love to cling to that... and okay, might believe that with 1% of my body).... My hunch is that they want a life filled with love and happiness just as much as I do... We just express that differently and/or are "alarmed" by different things that we see to jeopordize our lifestyles.
So it's time to understand... what is motivating them? What is it that they want -- truly want -- not what the sound bytes say they want... not what some pundit says they want... (But I'm interested in the pundits, too.) Really, I'll just be an equal opportunity listener. I want to understand.
So, today I listened to a Fresh Air interview with Richard Viguerie that took place on Wednesday.
According to the Fresh Air web site, Vigeurie "is considered the "funding father" of the conservative movement. In the 1970s and 80s he pioneered direct mail political fundraising. He is a co-author of America's Right Turn: How Conservatives Used New and Alternative Media to Take Power. He now heads the organization American Target Advertising Inc."
I got a lot out of this interview; quite a bit that surprised me. For instance, this guy had no problem acknowledging (with enthusiasm) that he exploits fear in gathering support for his causes. I also got a better idea about what he means when he says "liberal media."
I will admit, in the back of my head I still see the graph that's been circling around that compares a state's IQ average with their presidential vote (all the smarties went w/ Kerry). But was equally impressed with his point that Liberal agendas are hard to get across on radio because it is nuanced.
EXACTLY. I agree. There was more, it was all good. Cuz learning about where others are coming from is always good.
» Fresh Air interview with Richard Viguerie
In the wake that was the bloodbath of the Democratic Party on November 2, 2004, I somehow feel more empowered as a Liberal than ever before.
My friends all respond in their own ways... one is quite politically active and setting up protests; another has been inspired to start a blog; quite a few send out email alerts about the conservative party; and the rest all started to drink prolifically to numb the pain.
Me? I feel for myself, before I do any protesting or create any real "action," it's time for me personally to truly try to understand where the conservatives are coming from. Look -- I put money on it that these people aren't the antichrist posing in christian bodies (much as I would love to cling to that... and okay, might believe that with 1% of my body).... My hunch is that they want a life filled with love and happiness just as much as I do... We just express that differently and/or are "alarmed" by different things that we see to jeopordize our lifestyles.
So it's time to understand... what is motivating them? What is it that they want -- truly want -- not what the sound bytes say they want... not what some pundit says they want... (But I'm interested in the pundits, too.) Really, I'll just be an equal opportunity listener. I want to understand.
So, today I listened to a Fresh Air interview with Richard Viguerie that took place on Wednesday.
According to the Fresh Air web site, Vigeurie "is considered the "funding father" of the conservative movement. In the 1970s and 80s he pioneered direct mail political fundraising. He is a co-author of America's Right Turn: How Conservatives Used New and Alternative Media to Take Power. He now heads the organization American Target Advertising Inc."
I got a lot out of this interview; quite a bit that surprised me. For instance, this guy had no problem acknowledging (with enthusiasm) that he exploits fear in gathering support for his causes. I also got a better idea about what he means when he says "liberal media."
I will admit, in the back of my head I still see the graph that's been circling around that compares a state's IQ average with their presidential vote (all the smarties went w/ Kerry). But was equally impressed with his point that Liberal agendas are hard to get across on radio because it is nuanced.
EXACTLY. I agree. There was more, it was all good. Cuz learning about where others are coming from is always good.
» Fresh Air interview with Richard Viguerie
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
10 toes and 501s
No more apologetica.
Andrea Scher's latest post was a shot through my heart. She did an experiment: she stopped saying she was sorry for one week.
I'm a terrible "I'm sorry-er." I mean it: the worst. And I get called on it constantly... so you know what? I'm going to do the challenge. I'm starting tomorrow and put a call out to a few friends to see if they want to join me.
» Read Andrea's great post. Read the great comments, too (especially the one left by a person named Cas).
Andrea Scher's latest post was a shot through my heart. She did an experiment: she stopped saying she was sorry for one week.
I'm a terrible "I'm sorry-er." I mean it: the worst. And I get called on it constantly... so you know what? I'm going to do the challenge. I'm starting tomorrow and put a call out to a few friends to see if they want to join me.
» Read Andrea's great post. Read the great comments, too (especially the one left by a person named Cas).
blowing...
More Flickr Goodness
One of my favorite Flickr finds was the photostream of ambiance_moushkila. I love his stream: combination of his artwork (which is a meditative (?) study on patterns, images, calligraphy, and calligraphy turning into images and iconography), smokey hep tones and a sly sense of humor.
Also, he's got a cool crop of smoking portraits that are awesome and spawned a new smoking group. I'm gonna light up my normally cigless life just to partake.
» Check him out.
One of my favorite Flickr finds was the photostream of ambiance_moushkila. I love his stream: combination of his artwork (which is a meditative (?) study on patterns, images, calligraphy, and calligraphy turning into images and iconography), smokey hep tones and a sly sense of humor.
Also, he's got a cool crop of smoking portraits that are awesome and spawned a new smoking group. I'm gonna light up my normally cigless life just to partake.
» Check him out.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Christmas Gifts or Christmas Thieves
Super Christmas Naughtiness
Do I really think that Chapin was smart enough to take the ornament off of the neighbor's Christmas tree and bring it to Kristin's front door? Not really. But I do think he is dumb enough to get caught near it.
KB's got the story on her flickr pic (check it out). Meanwhile -- painters are back which means that Chapers has bravely retreated to the farthest, backest, darkest part of Under the Bed.
So not-so-bright and a total chicken, yet how can you not love him?
Do I really think that Chapin was smart enough to take the ornament off of the neighbor's Christmas tree and bring it to Kristin's front door? Not really. But I do think he is dumb enough to get caught near it.
KB's got the story on her flickr pic (check it out). Meanwhile -- painters are back which means that Chapers has bravely retreated to the farthest, backest, darkest part of Under the Bed.
So not-so-bright and a total chicken, yet how can you not love him?
Sunday, December 12, 2004
outdoor christmas movie night
Overheard
Rem: I'm not going to tell my kids about any of this Christmas crap.Mar: But you're Jewish.
Rem: Oh yeah.
eyes
1000 words?
I have this theory on photos and the photographers that take them. My theory is this: often, the photo can tell more about the photographer, than what it is they are actually capturing.
In other words — and maybe I am reading too much into it — I feel like I start to get a feel for the personality of the photographer. There is something about the way a photo is captured... is it captured gently? glaringly? casually? does it intrude? does it carress the subject? does it coax the subject out? does it treat the subject like a quick glance or with an apology, like the photographer is too embarrassed to take the time to focus in and get the right shot?
With Flickr you can see your photos, your contact's or just anyone who has public photos up. I've seen photos of far-away subjects that seemed lecherous... innocent photos except that the camera seemed so invasive and intrusive. I've seen photos upfront and superclose that seem so gentle... so carressing and sweet. Photos where the simple beauty would have passed unnoticed if it hadn't been for that quick snap of the shutter (so cliche! so true!). Or full stories blossom and run despite the stillness of being a single frame.
- - - -
Seven and a half years ago I joined a list-serv with a hundred or so strangers and very quickly the list had a close cameraderie. So many people back then would ask, "but how do you know those people?" The thinking being... if you can't see them, how do you know that they are being honest with you through email?
My response, while maybe naive, is that it is hard to lie day after day, email after email. Your tone will rat you out. Or your tone will confirm who you say you are.... It is the daily repetition of communication that speaks the truth.
The same could be said about Flickr. I have 93 "contacts" on Flickr now... contacts who upload photos on an almost daily basis. And for the people who have been on my contact list for a long time (and specifically, those I didn't "know" before Flickr), their personalities begin to take shape through their photos -- and I love seeing that. You begin to see who is a joker or teaser, who sees beauty in the every day, who reveres life's most stunning moments, who is self-conscious, who is rushing....
Or maybe I read too much into it. That is true, too.
And speekina nothing really connected to the above, is there nothing worse than finding out that you read someone wrong? That someone you thought was so... fabulous... isn't?
Is it just projection? Is that all life is? Projection?
I dunno. That I will think of for a while.
dan readies the backyard for movie night
movie night at dan's
Tonight it is Christmas movie night at Dan's.... I'm sure you've been invited, so please come over and wear something warm, cuz baby it's cooold outside. Show starts at 6pm and the line up goes as such: The Grinch (orig cartoon version), Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, and Bad Santa (unrated, I think).
This afternoon I went over to lure him to Utopia bakery with me (yes, he came -- of course -- who says no to Utopia Backery?). I found him in the backyard, rigging up the poles for the screen that'll be going up.
Tonight it is Christmas movie night at Dan's.... I'm sure you've been invited, so please come over and wear something warm, cuz baby it's cooold outside. Show starts at 6pm and the line up goes as such: The Grinch (orig cartoon version), Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, and Bad Santa (unrated, I think).
This afternoon I went over to lure him to Utopia bakery with me (yes, he came -- of course -- who says no to Utopia Backery?). I found him in the backyard, rigging up the poles for the screen that'll be going up.
you don't say?
"Your work may not be done carefully because your heart is not really in it."
Yeah, no kidding. You didn't really have to tell me that. This has been my problem for a couple of months... my heart just hasn't been into it.
And when I say "it" I mean anything at all.
That's not really like me.
I've always really admired those people that can do it, no matter what. And by it I mean, the things that they need to do: a great job at work, meaningless but need-to-be-done errands, returning phone calls.... How do they do it?
Me... it's almost like I need to be passionate about something to do it at all. This may include showering [grin]. Not really, but you know what I mean? If I don't all-caps LOVE it.... It's pretty damn hard and painful to do it.
And so I fight it. I try. I put in an effort. And let me tell you, let's make no bones about it, that effort will be a dry, crackly outter shell of what it should be. Just without life. Without oomph. Without... well, passion, I guess. Or... I won't do it. I'll sit there. I'll stay home. I'll minimize what I do until it's done and then you know what happens? Absofuckinglutely nothing. Nothing. Nada.
So, three things. One... just do it anyway. Okay, so something will done without life... they need to get done nonetheless. And I have faith -- true, rock solid faith -- that the passion will come back. Two... pretend I have the passion. Fake it until it's true.... I could do that... but inside I feel like a phoney. And finally, three. Three... be friends with the lack of passion. Just note it. See it. Acknowlege it for what it is and procede to thought one. Just know it will come back. But don't punish yourself for lack of true-blue fantabulous intensity in the interim.
This has been my little lesson in the last couple of days.
More mundane stuff, for those of you bored outta your minds enough to keep reading.
I cleaned out some clutter this week. My theory: when you are stagnating, free up the space around you. I had this one closet that was... wow, becoming dangerous, it was. I mean you could open the door, but not much else. So... in a spurt of real energy and intention I just wiped it out. Went through it all: toss, toss, toss, toss. Mixed with "oh hello there, I forgot all about you." Then, this momentum lead to the next closet. Clothes, shoes, clothes, shoes, toss toss toss. This feels good.
"Your work may not be done carefully because your heart is not really in it."
Yeah, no kidding. You didn't really have to tell me that. This has been my problem for a couple of months... my heart just hasn't been into it.
And when I say "it" I mean anything at all.
That's not really like me.
I've always really admired those people that can do it, no matter what. And by it I mean, the things that they need to do: a great job at work, meaningless but need-to-be-done errands, returning phone calls.... How do they do it?
Me... it's almost like I need to be passionate about something to do it at all. This may include showering [grin]. Not really, but you know what I mean? If I don't all-caps LOVE it.... It's pretty damn hard and painful to do it.
And so I fight it. I try. I put in an effort. And let me tell you, let's make no bones about it, that effort will be a dry, crackly outter shell of what it should be. Just without life. Without oomph. Without... well, passion, I guess. Or... I won't do it. I'll sit there. I'll stay home. I'll minimize what I do until it's done and then you know what happens? Absofuckinglutely nothing. Nothing. Nada.
So, three things. One... just do it anyway. Okay, so something will done without life... they need to get done nonetheless. And I have faith -- true, rock solid faith -- that the passion will come back. Two... pretend I have the passion. Fake it until it's true.... I could do that... but inside I feel like a phoney. And finally, three. Three... be friends with the lack of passion. Just note it. See it. Acknowlege it for what it is and procede to thought one. Just know it will come back. But don't punish yourself for lack of true-blue fantabulous intensity in the interim.
This has been my little lesson in the last couple of days.
More mundane stuff, for those of you bored outta your minds enough to keep reading.
I cleaned out some clutter this week. My theory: when you are stagnating, free up the space around you. I had this one closet that was... wow, becoming dangerous, it was. I mean you could open the door, but not much else. So... in a spurt of real energy and intention I just wiped it out. Went through it all: toss, toss, toss, toss. Mixed with "oh hello there, I forgot all about you." Then, this momentum lead to the next closet. Clothes, shoes, clothes, shoes, toss toss toss. This feels good.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Good morning!
Man, for a while there I was wondering if I would ever have anything to share on my blog again. I was having blog block. But I don't know... maybe it's been the three-days-in-a-row of sunshine. Maybe it's that I finally calmed my antsy-pants. Angsty-pants (my specialty). Maybe it is the three cups of coffee. Maybe it's favorite songs on iTunes. But hot damn, things are looking good. :) My favorite feeling: abundant hopefulness with no clinging. ;)
(You know what I mean? Sometimes you have clingy hopefulness, and that really sucks. I hate that feeling).
clarification: when I say "clinging" and "clingy" I'm not talking about relationship clinginess... I'm using that more in the Buddhist way, as with regards to attachment. As in grasping.
Things are looking up.
(You know what I mean? Sometimes you have clingy hopefulness, and that really sucks. I hate that feeling).
clarification: when I say "clinging" and "clingy" I'm not talking about relationship clinginess... I'm using that more in the Buddhist way, as with regards to attachment. As in grasping.
Things are looking up.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Being alone
the farther i get from "closer," the more i like it
Last night finally got to see Closer. And while I knew I liked the performances while watching (actually, got lost within the performances — always a good sign), I have to admit, the credits began to roll and I said to my friends, "I'm not sure I understood that."
As we walked home from the movie we started talking about... and not just talking about it but enthusiastically interjectedly talking about it... the "oh oh oh — what about this part?" type of talking about it. So that by the time I got home I was thinking, yeah, wow, that was some movie.
Don't get me wrong: it's not a fun movie. And you're not going to walk out of there and want to hug someone. More like head down to a dive bar and have a stiff something-or-other while cursing the fucked up world. There's not really one sympathetic character: they are all wounded and reactive — like an abused dog that lashes out whenever it gets scared.
Still, a day later and the movie has kept coming up and coming up inside my head. Clive Owen was amazing. His scene with Julia Roberts (and if you saw the movie you know which scene I'm talking about — that scene).... hi-yi-yi. That was something else. Not something nice. Not something pleasant. But ohmigod it was something.
savethetruck
sometimes getting over the high hills takes a big support team and a good sense of humor.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
if all else fails, turn to the stars
Well, this explains yesterday. "Something transcendental. This influence deepens the emotions and creates a greater need to belong to an individual or to a group. Friendships are extremely important to you today, and they may change your life. Love relationships are more intense, and physical sexuality is experienced as something transcendental. This is a good time to try to understand your emotions and how they affect your relationships. Today you can enrich and enhance a relationship as you realize the strength of your feelings, in a moment when you experience the full force of your emotion. Certainly any emotion that you feel today will have extraordinary force and vigor. No experience under this influence is superficial, nor would you be satisfied with any that was."
Astrology was a recurring topic today. Today someone told me they were Aries and I started rattling off all this stuff about Aries and he says "how do you know this stuff?" and I said, "you know, I'm not really sure...." But I learned that KB's got a moon in Capricorn and man that explains a lot. ;)
overheard
KB: I'm not very Leo.
Gil: She's Leo on the inside.
I think that's right.
Once I was working out at the gym chatting to the guy on the treadmill next to me. Astrology came up and we talked a bit about birthdays. I asked, "What sign are you?" and he said, (after making a face like "what else could I be?") "The best sign." "Oh," I said, "you must be Scorpio." And said, yes, he was.
Scorpios always say that.
My rising is Scorpio and I once had a psychic tell me, thank god for that Scorpio" with regards to my chart. ;) I agree.
Well, this explains yesterday. "Something transcendental. This influence deepens the emotions and creates a greater need to belong to an individual or to a group. Friendships are extremely important to you today, and they may change your life. Love relationships are more intense, and physical sexuality is experienced as something transcendental. This is a good time to try to understand your emotions and how they affect your relationships. Today you can enrich and enhance a relationship as you realize the strength of your feelings, in a moment when you experience the full force of your emotion. Certainly any emotion that you feel today will have extraordinary force and vigor. No experience under this influence is superficial, nor would you be satisfied with any that was."
Astrology was a recurring topic today. Today someone told me they were Aries and I started rattling off all this stuff about Aries and he says "how do you know this stuff?" and I said, "you know, I'm not really sure...." But I learned that KB's got a moon in Capricorn and man that explains a lot. ;)
overheard
KB: I'm not very Leo.
Gil: She's Leo on the inside.
I think that's right.
Once I was working out at the gym chatting to the guy on the treadmill next to me. Astrology came up and we talked a bit about birthdays. I asked, "What sign are you?" and he said, (after making a face like "what else could I be?") "The best sign." "Oh," I said, "you must be Scorpio." And said, yes, he was.
Scorpios always say that.
My rising is Scorpio and I once had a psychic tell me, thank god for that Scorpio" with regards to my chart. ;) I agree.
Lunacy
when stirmenting, go work out
Yesterday I was going a little crazy. Stir crazy. I blame the computer. I blame me spending too much time on the computer. I blame the immediacy of the computer and my addiction to it's constant positive reinforcement of always something new for me to see, do, respond to, check out. I blame too many hours trying to work, but flickr-ing instead, writing email instead.
Next thing you know, I'm all worked up. Ancy. Unsure. Cloudied. Just a crazy energy. And one that I'm none to fond of.
And then I remembered: working out. I needed to be physical. Spending a lot of time infront of the computer? Then you gotta balance it out with some physical motion. So yesterday evening I spent 90 minutes in the gym... 30 minutes on the treadmill and 60 minutes doing a Tai Chi-Yoga-Pilates combo class.
And I could just feel that crazy energy dissipate. THANK GOD FOR THAT. So my new rule is working out daily for my sanity.
it's been a gastronomical extravanza and it's not to let up for a few more days
Last night was dinner at Buona Tavola and all I gotta say (ask) is, how come I don't eat there more often? Deliciously liplickingly good. I had raviolis with saffron and stuffed with scampi. Hello tastebuds.
the missing
I hate missing people, because it hurts my heart. Actually... I'm funny that way. I know a lot of people that get homesick or miss people who aren't around. I'm rarely like that. And I think it's because I know they are just a phone call away, a visit away. Home will be there when I get back (plus... I like being a little transient; I don't think I've ever been homesick in my life). What I hate is when someone isn't around and there is no way to check in... meaning... they aren't a phone call away. They aren't an email away. And maybe you don't even know where things were left. And all you know is that you miss them and you don't know if you'll ever see them again. That's the type of missing I don't like. Most of my life has been set up to avoid this situation. So when I do find myself in this space, it only adds to the stir craziness.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
seminal sentimentalities
Camper Van Beethoven. God damn I love this album: Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart. It makes me a little sad, knowing that this dates me. And that these seminal moments have come and passed. Or maybe there are more. She Devines Water — I could eat this song. One of These Days — I wish it were a jacket and I could wrap it right around my shoulders with a hood I could pull over my head and pockets I could sink my fists into.
And just two/three years later grunge would hit the scene, and while I liked it, it didn't grab my soul or pull on my heart as these quirky other bands with melancholically skipping violins or warbling mandolins did and oh the perfectly pedestriany vocals.
So funny how you put on a CD and get wafted into the Nostalgic Forest. Warning: may cause eye rolls from those in your close proximity. Second Warning: bands of yore will date you like rings on a tree.
when the bed shakes.
Yesterday morning I dreamed there was an earthquake. But I didn't know it was a dream... it felt like the real deal. Lightswaying gradually turning into massive rumbling and shaking. Yet, while I knew there was this earthquake, I decided to stay asleep.
I could feel my bed begin to stretch apart — as if spanning across the San Andreas — I felt it begin to stretch and pull apart and still I told myself "just an earthquake, it will be okay." And I thought — wow — I've never been laying down in an earthquake — who knew that the flat things stretched!"
It was so real that when I finally got up I called my mom to see if she felt it; if it had woken her up. She wasn't home and I got the machine. Instead of leaving a message I got on the USGS web site to see how big the earthquake was.
But there had been no earthquake. Just my rumbling dream.
the best client in the entire world
A client of a client needed some quick work done, so I obliged — it was no big deal — just a couple of hours to create a few extra pages, swap out new graphics, add new text — typical stuff. BUT, the client of the client was so appreciative that they paid me 2.25x the amount I billed them.
They are now my most favorite people in the entire world. Oh dear client of the clients, may good fortune follow you wherever you go.
Camper Van Beethoven. God damn I love this album: Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart. It makes me a little sad, knowing that this dates me. And that these seminal moments have come and passed. Or maybe there are more. She Devines Water — I could eat this song. One of These Days — I wish it were a jacket and I could wrap it right around my shoulders with a hood I could pull over my head and pockets I could sink my fists into.
And just two/three years later grunge would hit the scene, and while I liked it, it didn't grab my soul or pull on my heart as these quirky other bands with melancholically skipping violins or warbling mandolins did and oh the perfectly pedestriany vocals.
So funny how you put on a CD and get wafted into the Nostalgic Forest. Warning: may cause eye rolls from those in your close proximity. Second Warning: bands of yore will date you like rings on a tree.
when the bed shakes.
Yesterday morning I dreamed there was an earthquake. But I didn't know it was a dream... it felt like the real deal. Lightswaying gradually turning into massive rumbling and shaking. Yet, while I knew there was this earthquake, I decided to stay asleep.
I could feel my bed begin to stretch apart — as if spanning across the San Andreas — I felt it begin to stretch and pull apart and still I told myself "just an earthquake, it will be okay." And I thought — wow — I've never been laying down in an earthquake — who knew that the flat things stretched!"
It was so real that when I finally got up I called my mom to see if she felt it; if it had woken her up. She wasn't home and I got the machine. Instead of leaving a message I got on the USGS web site to see how big the earthquake was.
But there had been no earthquake. Just my rumbling dream.
the best client in the entire world
A client of a client needed some quick work done, so I obliged — it was no big deal — just a couple of hours to create a few extra pages, swap out new graphics, add new text — typical stuff. BUT, the client of the client was so appreciative that they paid me 2.25x the amount I billed them.
They are now my most favorite people in the entire world. Oh dear client of the clients, may good fortune follow you wherever you go.
Friday, December 03, 2004
uh oh
You scored as Deranged Cat. Wow. . . lay off the halucinogenics and brush your hair once in a while. You're one sick, derranged s.o.b.
75% Drunk Cat
75% Deranged Cat
67% Couch Potato Cat
58% Pissed at the World Cat
42% Love Machine Cat
42% Ninja Cat
00% Nerd Cat
Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
Okay, so I skewed some of the answers a little bit. But c'mon, wouldn't you so you could be the deranged/drunken cat?
You scored as Deranged Cat. Wow. . . lay off the halucinogenics and brush your hair once in a while. You're one sick, derranged s.o.b.
75% Drunk Cat
75% Deranged Cat
67% Couch Potato Cat
58% Pissed at the World Cat
42% Love Machine Cat
42% Ninja Cat
00% Nerd Cat
Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
Okay, so I skewed some of the answers a little bit. But c'mon, wouldn't you so you could be the deranged/drunken cat?
Thursday, December 02, 2004
in nead of a head warmer...
From Johnny B:
dearest mars, i write to you with feverish fingertips. i have, with no surprise to either you nor i, found another love. yes. true love, not the kind that you find in one of those trashy bitch novels, no. some may call it want. actually i did about 5 hours ago. whatever! this makes me smile on the inside and what really is important here? i will, without regret, dismantle my bid for a certain two seated 'wind in your hair', for the latter.
dearest mars, i write to you with feverish fingertips. i have, with no surprise to either you nor i, found another love. yes. true love, not the kind that you find in one of those trashy bitch novels, no. some may call it want. actually i did about 5 hours ago. whatever! this makes me smile on the inside and what really is important here? i will, without regret, dismantle my bid for a certain two seated 'wind in your hair', for the latter.
amos oz
Amos Oz
I had never heard of him before, despite the fact that he is one of Isreal's most well-known authors and recipient of several peace prizes. Amos Oz believes in separate states for both Israel and Palestine, which makes him a controversial character on both sides. And on that, I will say nothing because I'm not even close to being educated or experienced enough to comment.
But instead I'll tell you about his voice. Instead I'll hint at the way speaks, just answering questions in an interview: conviction and passion held together by spoken, off-the-cuff poetry.
Oz was interviewed this week by Terry Gross for Fresh Air. He talks about his new book which is a memoir of growing up in war-torn Israel, sheltered by parents whose hearts were broken by a Europe that didn't want them, only to have his own broken when his mother killed herself when he was only twelve years old.
I had to listen to the interview twice.
» listen to the interview
» read an excerpt
PANTS!
massive pants
This photographer writes, "I have to endure the searing image that is my elderly neighbourâ??s massive pants on the line, and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, so do you!"
Ha. And now so do all emdot readers!
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
overheard
we're having pizza at dan's house -- lemme tell you, this pizza is going to be awesome... sun-dried tomato pesto with goat cheese, rosemary, bell peppers, proscuitto... meanwhile, the subject of "how old are you?" came up, with a really awesome eight-year-old.
the kid: how old are you?
dan: 12
the kid: really? (note skepticism)
dan: ask marya.
the kid: how old is he?
emdot: 12.
the kid: what were you, born on leap year?
we officially love the kid.
we're having pizza at dan's house -- lemme tell you, this pizza is going to be awesome... sun-dried tomato pesto with goat cheese, rosemary, bell peppers, proscuitto... meanwhile, the subject of "how old are you?" came up, with a really awesome eight-year-old.
the kid: how old are you?
dan: 12
the kid: really? (note skepticism)
dan: ask marya.
the kid: how old is he?
emdot: 12.
the kid: what were you, born on leap year?
we officially love the kid.
CAT'S FOOD
New source of inspiration. Hilda says she likes to vacation and craft, so that is what she's made her life. I LOVE THAT. Her style is saturated and whimsical and very inspiring. Her bull dogs are cute, too.
Colors
The painters are back (and I guess will keep coming back for days and days). Meanwhile, they've swapped Duane Eddy for 80s punk and it is just cracking me up. :)
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