Saturday, December 25, 2004

Joop's Dog Log - Christmas Day December 25

merry christmas everybody!

I blog the pic to the right because number one, I love the festiveness of it and number two, it features JOOP! One of my favorite Flickr dogs. Joop is a star and never fails to bring a smile to my face. I dig Joop. And his owners (who I believe maybe live in Germany? Holland? I forget!) are full of adventurous outdoor photos. They seemed to have travelled many different places. May this photo put a little smile on your face.

Time was... man, two years ago I worked all by myself -- for nine hours! -- at WA on Christmas Day because the person who was supposed to QA about 40 pages of web catalog did a terrible job. Terrible! And the work had to be done. And there was no one else to do it. So, I had to come in and do the work all by myself and you know, there were more than a few tears shed that day.

I remember the day before, on Christmas Eve, I think I worked until 8:00 that night. Again -- we were short many hands and there was one set of hands that was especially incompetant and so I had to double and triple check everything and redo things myself and everyone was so overworked by that point I didn't feel like I could ask anyone else to come in and do the work, or stay late and do the work. So Martyr Marya, I did it myself.

I remember Mary G. coming to my desk that Christmas Eve with a CD of Christmas songs and she offered it to me as a little present and I could barely thank her with little tears streaming down my cheeks. I was so frustrated. So sad. So pissed. So -- helpless. It was all on my shoulders and I didn't know what I was going to do.

So I worked. And believe me when I tell you: I could not see the light at the end of that tunnel. It was dark. It was bleak. It was black.

A year later I would have one of the most relaxing Christmasses of my life. Who knew?!

And a year after that -- this Christmas -- life feels scary because it is looming, juicy, brimming, expanding with so much opportunity. Will I be brave enough to reach for it or will I be bowled over by the unknowingness of it all? I hope I am brave enough! Right now I feel ready.

I hope this Christmas finds you happy, too. And brimming with newness. And if not newness, how about some deep relaxation? Some heavy sighs of happiness? A full belly? Maybe just whatever it is that your heart is calling for.

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