we both are so excited cuz we're reunited oh-oh-ohhh

Twenny years ago today. Last Saturday night was my high school reunion, which was great. As were the others that I have been too. What can I say except that my class was awesome. We were lucky. We were all mostly from the same socio-economic class. People were basically down-to-earth. Few things have changed. The only unfortunate part of this is that not a lot of people could come and I kept thinking about those that I really missed seeing.

What struck me most? The openness. I don't think I am very open, really, in my real life (despite having a blog). Mardot is all about the shields and the boundaries and the protective mechanisms. Did I get hurt or something and just put on some steely armor? I don't know. But my armor slowly (s l o w l y) fell away as I came face-to-face with other's openness.


Bill B., me, and Rob T. That's 3/4 of the Kaiser All Stars, just missing Miss Cassy B.

Such as seeing Bill B. who was this guy that I spent a lot of time kissing in high school (like two years worth) and how his easy-crinkly-smile has not changed at all, nor has the frequency which he shows it. He's got an easy-going chuckle and a friendly, open sense of humor. I love seeing how well he's done with his life. His kids are so cute that I almost had to cage them and keep them in SLO Town.


Becky, the hopefully soon-to-be-ex-atty and current-comic-writer, and yours truly

Another friend who is a Very Important Atty and who I begged — pleaded — to quit her day job because she is so damn funny that my spleen practically popped out of my nose while I was doubled-over laughing. I said, "you are funny." She said, "if you talk as much as I do you are bound to have a couple funny things fall out of your mouth." She needs to write and I need to buy the book. Of course I still resent her getting class clown when I myself worked so hard for that. (My junior year I got biggest flirt which caused my hs boyfriend to ban his yearbook from being opened for over six months.).

And of course I don't want to create a laundry list or leave anyone out. But let me just say it was great to see everyone. And two of my best hs girlfriends came to stay at my place and really, it was much more like having sisters stay. These girls are my sisters, too.

But more than anything this has made me look at myself, my life. I feel good with where I am in my life... but come on: you know my neuroticism can't keep it at that. I want to have that easy-goingness again. I want to let down my shield. And I wonder if that is possible and/or if I am that courageous.