chalk and awe

chalk and awe, originally uploaded by emdot.

i haven't taken a photo in days. and a photo i've liked? well, it's been even longer than that. i'm in the middle of a transition which has me focusing on other tasks (and talking cryptically on my blog).

i've been battling some kind of bug for what feels like weeks. i go through periods of exhaustion and then periods of just... kinda feeling funky. i've been dealing with a bleeding nose for at least three weeks. the air is dry. and my back hurts. and and and.

transitions affect all parts of our lives.

while i declutter (yes, still working on that), i continue to watch the sopranos and listen to the director commentaries.

what i've learned: i'm picky when it comes to directory commentaries. listen, directors... actors... set designers... producers... and what-have-yous... i'm sure you are a very interesting person. i'm sure your home life is rich and complex and funny and ohmigod so je ne sais quas. but guess what? i don't want to know about it.

instead, tell me about the lighting. the equipment, the actors, the moment, the scene, the music, the motifs... tell me about the shot that was such a struggle, what wasn't used, what was improvised, who is fabulous, and what just really gets you excited about the scene.

and i will be your loyal friend forever.

today on utata the subject of the things you know you are good at came up.

i am good at the smallest and most trivial of things.

i am good at being loyal (too good.).
i am good at finding the silver lining in damn near anything.
i am master non grata at forgiveness and cutting slack.
i am good at adding the trivial anecdote at the most inappropriate times.
i am good at sharing a bottle of wine, a six pack or a g&t (maybe too good.).
i am good at listenting to lectures.
i a good at taking notes.
i am good at believing that most of you are completely, 100% worth listening to.

i am bad at faking "like" when i do not like.
i am bad at "flying by the seat of my pants" when an emotional chord is struck.
i am bad bad bad bad BAD at working by myself in a big room.
i am very bad at isolation.
i am bad at recognizing in the moment that i am bad at isolation.
i am bad at acting on those things that make me uncomfortable.
i am bad at phone calls.
i am bad bad bad at opening up my mail.
i am bad at rectifying things.
i am bad at the repetitive every-day-stuff.

but, did i mention that i am very good at organizing while watching old episodes of the sopranos? so very good. in fact, i think i will go and practice that special gift right now.